The Three Clichés: White Chocolate Latté
by LaYaDaYaDaYaDaYa
Summary: Summary: Unrequited love, forbidden fruit, misunderstandings, betrayal, cheesy pick-up lines, kisses in the rain, and rejection. Those are some of the very many elements of clichés. Mix them all together and you've got yourself a warm, steaming cup of white chocolate latté.
1. Introductions are Necessary

**The Three Clichés: White Chocolate Latte**

**Summary:** Unrequited love, misunderstandings, cheesy pick-up lines, kisses in the rain, and forbidden fruit. These are some of the very many elements of clichés. Mix them together and you've got yourself a warm, steaming cup of white chocolate latte.

**WARNING: **SLIGHT SPOILERS FROM SAPPY ROMANCE MOVIES A WALK TO REMEMBER AND SERENDIPITY.

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL, SERENDIPITY, AND/OR A WALK TO REMEMBER. I REALLY DOUBT OWNING THEM**.**

**DISCLAIMER (2):** I DO NOT MEAN TO INTENTIONALLY INSULT ANYONE BY WRITING THIS FIC. SERIOUSLY, I'M NOT A BAD PERSON.

* * *

**Introduction.**

In this world, there are about one billion types clichés. They are classified into three main groups.

First is the 'Movie Clichés'. These clichés happen in soap operas and sappy romance movies and rarely in real life. Example of a 'Movie Cliché' is Nicholas Sparks' 'A Walk to Remember'. I mean seriously, the, most popular guy in school conveniently has to do something against his will but ends up liking it because a social outcast helps him out and ends up falling in love with her. Then she dies and the rest is history.

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVED 'A Walk to Remember'. It's just that sometimes, we need to know that line between teenage crap drama and too much drama a normal human being can handle.

The second group of clichés are the 'Fairy Tale Clichés'. These clichés are the annoying Disney fantasies where an orphaned peasant girl is abused by her stepmother and stepsisters then gets magically transformed to a beautiful to attend a party, which she was specifically told not to go to by her dear stepmummy, by a magically annoying fairy godmother, who, by the way, I doubt to be really magical. I mean, if you REALLY want to help, why is she not allowed past twelve. If she leaves that early, her friends will call her a loser! It doesn't make any sense.

There are a lot of things wrong with this type of clichés. First of all, if my stepmomma and stepsistas were abusin' me, I'd go straight to the puh-lice. No'me sayin'? *que sass snap* Second of all, if I were a peasant girl, I'd get off my lazy ass, get a job, and not whine and complain about how hard life is. I ain't waitin' for no Prince Charming on a white fuckin' stead to fuckin' sweep me off my feet. Uhh-uhh.

The third classification is a personal favorite of mine, the 'Serendipity'. You know the movie 'Serendipity'? Yeah, exactly everything that happened in the movie is under this type of cliché. Oh, you HAVEN'T seen 'Serendipity'? Well,you really should it's a great movie. Well, maybe except the crappy ending where Sarah left her fiancé for a stranger she met a long time ago and have not seen since.

Anyway, I never really believed in that crap until a pink-haired idiot spilled an extremely hot cup of white chocolate latte on me. That was when I realized that all three clichés were happening to me. And boy, what a ride it was.

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**Heeellloooo, everyone! This is my first attempt at writing something after months of practicing and mastering punctuation. This is also my very first Fairy Tail fic! Yay! Please leave a review! Bye!**

**-Ann**


	2. Three Goddamned Days Ago

**The Three Clichés: White Chocolate Latté**

**Summary: ** Unrequited love, misunderstandings, cheesy pick-up lines, kisses in the rain, and forbidden fruit. These are some of the very many elements of clichés. Mix them together and you've got yourself a warm, steaming cup of white chocolate latte.

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL. IF I DID, I'D PROBABLY BE PISSED AT MYSELF FOR NOT GETTING NATSU AND LUCY TOGETHER EARLIER.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Three Goddamned Days Ago**

"Mmm…Oh yeah… mmm…" I moaned in pleasure.

"Lucy, would you cut it out? People—more specifically men—are watching you make sex noises!" My friend, Erza, shouted at me.

"Oh yeah… but, Erza, this is just too good! Mmm…" I said waving my banana bagel at her face.

"Cut it out!"

"I will when I don't—Shit!" I was talking when I felt a hot burning sensation on my back. Like Satan's piss hot.

"What the fuck, man!" I shouted at the man who spilled his coffee on me. I don't know why but this guy was **laughing**. And what's even worse, he made me drop my $13 bagel! Oh boy, when I am through with him…

"Hahaha…S-s-haha-sorry, lady. Didn't see you there." He said between laughs.

I stood up and walked up towards him. I smiled sweetly and grabbed his shoulder like the sophisticated lady I am. I slowly began to remove some lint on his shirt.

"You know, Mr. Pink-haired Douche, I've been waiting for that bagel all month. And this **white** sweater that I'm wearing is what my sick friend made for me," I slowly raised up my knee right below his crotch. "Now, I'm not going to do anything that might cause harm to you—" I went for the strike and kneed him in the balls. "—except your manhood."

The idiot sunk low to his knees, cradling his damaged joystick. Nosy bystanders were laughing at the pink-haired monkey. Erza was stifling laughter as not rub salt to the moron's wounds.

"Next time I see you, you better have a bagel and bleach." I said before grabbing Erza and striding out of there.

When we got outside, Erza burst into fits of giggles.

"Lucy, that was awesome!"

"Yeah, well—"

"Hey!" A voice from behind us called. "How about next time I see you at dinner?" I turned around and saw the poor victim of my powerful knee smirking cockily at me, walking as if the pain I inflicted upon him minutes ago was nothing.

I stared at him. The nerve of this guy! He spills coffee on me, made me drop my bagel, and actually laughed at me, and now he wants me to go on a date with him?

"In your dreams, buttface!" I replied before walking briskly with Erza trailing behind me on the opposite direction of the said douchebag.

Ugh, men.

* * *

It was about three days since the 'incident' happened. Three days since I last saw that scumbag. Three days since my bagel was brutally murdered and my sweater gravely injured.

I was sitting at the lunch table my friends and I usually ate at. I was idly watching a conversation between my best friend, Levy, and her on-off boyfriend, Gajeel.

I sighed.

It was really chilly today and my only sweater was still recovering from the traumatic experience it went through three days ago in the hands of my most trusted sweater surgeon, Ms. Supetto. I drank the hot chocolate Levy gave me. Ick, the heat reminded me of the coffee molesting my back three days ago.

It was painfully boring today with Erza at judo practice, Lisanna at cheerleading practice for this big game in a month, and Juvia at swim practice. I was with Levy, Gajeel, and Jellal. And Jellal was really quiet. He was so quiet that you'd think that a crazy horror prank might get something out of him but no. All I got from that is an elbow to the face and a broken desk.

"Hey, guys!" Lisanna burst through the cafeteria doors excitedly.

"Hey, Lis!" I said with the same excitement level she had mockingly.

"I want to introduce you guys to someone!" She ignored me and scurried outside again.

"Okay…?"

A few seconds later, Lisanna came back with someone. He had pink hair. Huh, funny. That douchebag from three days ago had pink hair. And the same smirk. And the same eyes. Goddamn it.

"You!" I pointed at him accusingly.

"Me?" He said with a smirk.

"I thought I told you to have bleach and a bagel the next time we met."

"I thought I told you to go to dinner with me instead but you said no."

I glared at him while he looked at me with a funny expression. Lisanna, Levy, Gajeel, and Jellal watched as the tension thickened before me and pinky here.

"Do you two…know each other?" Lisanna asked.

"Who? This crazy bagel lady? Nope. I just found her one day at my favorite coffee shop stalking me." The jerk said.

"Ugh, me? Stalk you? Maybe you're the one stalking! You're the one who's at my school, dumbass!" I yelled.

"Whatever, Crazy Bagel Lady." Then he just shrugged me off like I was nothing! God, I hope he accidentally detaches his penis the next time he pees.

I clenched my fist, resisting the urge to punch the guy. I sat back down and waited for any one of my friends to say something.

"So… it seems that Lucy knows this guy… Um, Levy, Gajeel, Jellal, this is Natsu Dragneel. He was my best friend when I was still back in Magnolia with Mira." Natu? What kind of stupid name is Natu? Isn't that like a pokemon or something?

"It's a pleasure to meet you guys." Natu said while shaking the guys' hands awkwardly.

"Oh, sure, you're nice to them." I said while glaring.

"Shut up, Luigi."

"It's Lucy, dumbass!"

"Whatever, Luigi." He said while smirking.

When I finally couldn't take the rage that was building up inside my tiny little nerves, I charged towards him with the pure intention to kick his face.

"Lucy, no—"But it was too late. I had already kicked the asshole's face and I was standing over him with a victorious smile.

Oh, yeah.

_Lucy Heartfilia: 1_

_Natu Dragneel: 0_

"—You're _wearing_ a skirt…" Levy said, continuing her earlier statement.

My eyes widened in realization and I looked at the man on the floor with a bruised up face. He was looking up and smirking at me.

"Nice panties, Luigi. Didn't know you were **that **type."

I squealed and jumped off of him and attempted to cover up my exposed… womanness.

"Shut up, you pervert!"

"Pervert? You're the one who flashed your panties at me." He said while smirking.

Damn it.

_Lucy Heartfilia: 1_

_Natu Dragneel: a good look at my underwear._

"S-Shut up, maniac!" Just then, the doors opened and came in Erza. She saw me beet red in front of a pink-haired man on the floor and asked what was going on.

"Wait…I know that voice…" Natu looked up and saw Erza and his eyes widened.

"E-Erza! H-hey!"

"Natsu?" Natsu? Who the hell is Natsu?

"Y-Yeah! I m-moved w-with Gray to this a-apartment in Strawberry St." Strawberry St. Why is that place so familiar? And he answered to Natsu? Hm…

"That's good," Erza said. "but why are you on the floor and why is Lucy pushing her skirt down as if she had just kicked you in the face and you saw her pink thong?" She asked. How the hell did she know that?

"Well, Erza—" I said before my mouth was rudely covered by a very masculine and rough hand.

"No! That's not what happened! We… were just playing a game! Yeah, that's it! A game!" He said. "Right, _Lucy_?" See, he does know my name.

I looked at him curiously but decided to just drop it. I nodded slowly at Erza to show her that what Natu said was true even though that's not what really happened.

"Cool. Can I play?" Shit. Shit. Shit. **Shit.**

"N-No!" Erza looked surprised. "I-I mean, we just finished. Now, we're going to eat lunch." Erza stared at us for a couple of seconds. Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? Erza sighed in defeat which made us get breaths of relief.

"Okay, let's go back." She said sulking.

We got to the table with Levy, Gajeel, Lisanna, and Jellal looking at us silently, as if watching our every move.

"Hey, Erza don't you recognize this guy from three days ago? You know, the asshat who spilled coffee on me and had the guts to ask me out?" I asked.

All my friends looked at Natu in surprise, especially Lisanna.

"Yeah, I do." She said, taking a piece of Gajeel's strawberry cake.

Gajeel shouted a loud 'Hey!' but shut up once Erza threw murderous glares at him.

"Then why are you not doing anything about it?" I ask.

"I don't know. I don't feel like it." She said simply, proceeding to take the whole slice from Gajeel, who was left with no choice but to give to her because, damn, Erza's scary.

"If you knew him, why didn't you talk to him back at the coffee shop?" I asked.

"Look, Lucy, I get that you're curious about everything that's happening right now but if you don't shut up right now, I'll tell everyone about the incident last Halloween, with the video." She said, taking a bite out of her cake.

I huffed and crossed my arms. I do NOT want anyone to know about last Halloween. That was a one-time thing and it will never happen again. I picked on my food and sent glares at Erza, which she ignored.

"So, Natsu, tell us about yourself." Levy said, trying to lighten the mood. There someone goes again! Who the hell is Natsu?!

"Well," He said, looking in my direction with a smirk plastered on his face. "I'm seventeen. I moved here with my bastard of a friend Gray. He's turning up in classes next week. I like fishing during my spare time and I have a cat named Happy."

"Ironically, I'm not very happy right now." I said with pure venom in my words.

"I doubt you can even be happy, babe." He said with a cheeky smile.

"What did you say, you—" I was cut off when Jellal grabbed my shoulder and shook his head.

"You know what? I'm going to be nice to you." I say smiling a little too sweetly at him.

At that exact moment, Juvia came in, walking towards our table.

"Hey, Guys." She said. "Who's this?"

"Hey there, Juvia. This is Natu Dragneel, a wonderful friend and good person to be with." I said slowly, silently spatting out the words through my gritted teeth.

"Natu?" Natsu asked.

"Oh hey, my name's Juvia." She took a pause before adding, "So, are you coming to Lucy's party this Saturday?"

"Yes/No!" We say at the same time.

"Ehem—Natu has plans, most likely with his computer." I said, purely not wanting Natsu to come to my party.

"Actually, no, I don't. I'll be sure to be there. I mean, I'd never miss my stalker's first house party." Grr… the nerve of this guy!

"For your information, this is not my first house party." I say.

"For your information, my name is Natsu not Natu. Man, are you deaf or something?" Roooaaaar! Damn this guy!

_Lucy Heartfilia: 1_

_Natu— I mean, __Natsu Dragneel: a good look at my underwear + 1_

"Actually, I kind of have to go. Juvia, can you come with me to the bathroom?" I say through gritted teeth, or at least gritted harder than I had before.

"But, Juvia—I just got here and Ju—I'm hungry." She says, trying to stop herself from using third-person.

"Now." I say louder.

"Okay, fine." As soon as she got up, I dragged her to the bathroom.

"Juvia, why did you invite him?" I say in a whiny voice.

"Why? Aren't you friends?" She asked.

"No! I will never be friends with that jerkwad in a million years!" I say exasperatedly.

"But, you were so nice to him." She reasoned.

"I was being fake! Can't you tell when I'm being fake?" I asked.

"Well, J—I'm sorry Lucy. What do you want me to do? Tell him NOT to go?" She asked.

"No, that'd be awkward. But, next time, please don't—NEVER invite him to whatever social event we're going to attend.

"Okay, Lucy. Juv—I promise."

Argh, I met the sweater-murderer from three days ago, he's going to my party, the cafeteria ran out of pizza. God, can this day get any worse.

And, yeah. It did.

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**Hey, der! I'm back with a new chapter! I've come up with a new update schedule. Yay! I'll update every Friday (For left side of the world) or Saturday (For right side of the world)! Or at least try to. With school and everything, I'll make sure to put this on top of the priorities list, right below school and above eating and sleeping! Anyway, virtual brownies to whoever can say where I got the inspiration for this chapter! Leave a review if you want!**

**-Ann**


	3. Paul the Potted Pitcher Plant

**The Three Clichés: White Chocolate Latté**

**Summary: ** Unrequited love, misunderstandings, cheesy pick-up lines, kisses in the rain, and forbidden fruit. These are some of the very many elements of clichés. Mix them together and you've got yourself a warm, steaming cup of white chocolate latte.

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL. HIRO MASHIMA DOES.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Paul the Potted Pitcher Plant**

_Previously:_

"_I was being fake! Can't you tell when I'm being fake?" I asked._

"_Well, J—I'm sorry Lucy. What do you want me to do? Tell him NOT to go?" She asked._

"_No, that'd be awkward. But, next time, please don't—NEVER invite him to whatever social event we're going to attend._

"_Okay, Lucy. Juv—I promise."_

_Argh, I met the sweater-murderer from three days ago, he's going to my party, the cafeteria ran out of pizza. God, can this day get any worse._

_And, yeah. It did._

And now:

After lunch, I had Biology. Unluckily, none of my friends shared a class with me and guess what? My dear, sweet, kind "friend" Natsu has almost all classes with me! What is this? Some sort of trashy romance story? (A/N: Yeah, it is.)

Right now, I'm in a pissy mood because of two things. One because Valerie, my dear stepsister, decided to throw a bitch-fit over the phone of how I'm not doing my chores right and that she has to do them for me. Which is not true, by the way. And two, because I'm in a class where Natsu-_san_ is and the only seat that is available that I'm aware of is the one next to me.

In Biology, we had to conduct an experiment outside at the school's greenhouse. We had to see how HCl is reactive to the pitcher plant's growth. We were supposed to exchange the pitcher plant's "juice" with HCl, gradually exchanging the "juice" with the acid.. Activities like these always brightens me up because it gives me a chance to "accidentally" blow something up. Or at least the probability to. But, the bad part about it is that we always, always, **always**, have to have partners. And guess who got paired up with lil' ol' me?"

"Hey, Crazy Bagel Lady," My wonderful partner said.

"Hey, Self-righteous Bastard," I said with a sickly sweet smile plastered on my face.

"Where're the materials?" He asked suddenly getting serious.

I pointed towards the greenhouse, unfazed by his quick change of attitude. We were the only ones outside because I had to wait for him to arrive from an extremely long trip to the bathroom. I mean I have no idea what the hell he did in there. Probably took a dump or something. Heh.

"Well, what are you waiting for? A flying cat to carry you there?" He asked me while smiling a goofy grin. It was kind of cute actually… Nope. Didn't say that. Did you hear something? Nope! Because nothing was said that was needed to be heard. Hahahaha…

My stomach felt like a bunch of tongues licking the linings, and it kind of tickled. I glared at him but followed quickly.

We entered the greenhouse and looked for our assigned station. This project's due to be completed in a week so we've got time. I put on my safety goggles and waited for Natsu to do the same but when I turned around, he was gone. I started looking around to see if he ran off doing something stupid or else the teacher might blame me for whatever that idiot is doing.

But then I heard laughter on my right.

I turned to the direction of the noise and saw Natsu trying to put his hand in the pitcher plant we were assigned with, with three girls watching and cheering him on.

"Natsu!" I yelled, very alarmed.

He looked at me with a stupid smile on his face but these girls were frowning.

"What?" He asked.

"What the hell are you doing, you dimwit?! I knew you were a dumbass but I didn't know that you were retarded! (A/N: No offence to the mentally challenged community.)" I said running and grabbing the pot from his hands.

"Mou! Natsu-kun, show us the trick you were saying!" A girl said with her annoyingly high-pitched, obviously done on purpose, voice.

"Yeah, Natsu-kun!" The two agreed.

"Sorry, girls. I've got no plant now; maybe tomorrow."

"Aww, but Natsu-kun! You don't have to listen to this…weird, ugly…thing." One said looking disgustedly at me.

I cocked an eyebrow at her and folded my arms but kept my mouth shut. Let's see what Natsu-_kun_ has to say about that.

"Hey! This weird ugly thing is my girlfriend!" He yelled while wrapping an arm around my shoulder. Strangely enough, I felt the tongues again and heat rising to my cheeks but dismissed it quickly.

I had half-expected his response. I mean, I've read enough fanfictions and mangas to familiarize with these types of situations. From the moment that moron showed himself to me with a coffee splash to the back for a greeting, I knew that he would try something like this sooner or later.

I was going to roll my eyes and deny it, but an idea creeped up on me.

"Yeah, I am. Now leave _my_ Natsu_-koi _alone." I said, smirking.

"Yea—wait, what?" He looked at me surprised.

"Natsu-kun! We're sorry! We didn't know she was your girlfriend! We'll go away now." The one with the annoyingly high-pitched voice said while bowing profusely and proceeding to back away.

"Yes, we're sorry!" The two agreed, following in suit.

"Wait! She's not my—!" Natsu yelled, trying to run after them but couldn't because I had grabbed his arm tightly.

"You're not getting away with this, Natsu_-koi. _I'm not doing this project alone!" I said dangerously while carrying the assigned plant with me, which I had decided to name Paul, in one arm while dragging a sobbing Natsu with me back to our work station in the other.

I breathed a deep breath. We had finally managed to complete set up A after, more or less, a total of eight tries (I had lost count after the fourth time.).

I'll give a short recap:

First try: _Natsu-koi _sulked the whole time and refused to help me, the "cockblocker", even when I tried to explain to him that **he **was the one that started it. I ended up doing it myself but Paul refused to open his mouth. I stubbornly tilted Paul, thinking that Paul's 'juice' splattered everywhere except, thankfully, myself (okay, that sounded wrong).

Second try: I was so close to getting Paul's 'juice' (okay, it's wrong no matter **how **much I try to make it sound right) but then my 'boyfriend' decided to choose that moment to move. Which is a good thing but, he didn't notice the fly on his arm that he accidentally swatted away, causing it to fly towards Paul, causing Paul to have an early dinner.

Third try: Natsu was holding the beaker while I was pouring Paul's juice. It was only a quarter full but then Natsu sneezed and accidentally moved and threw the beaker to the other side of the greenhouse.

Fourth try: I made Natsu hold Paul's mouth open wide enough for the 'juice' to come out which he did correctly. He was pouring the 'juice' and I was collecting it with another beaker I got from my teacher after a scolding Natsu deserved but which I got instead. We had almost collected up to 5mL, the needed amount, but then Kyle (pronounced Kay-lee), a cheerleader who was in my class, decided to walk pass our work station and sluttily, whorily, annoyingly flirt with Natsu while he was holding Paul. Of course, Natsu, the pervert he was, dropped Paul and followed after Kyle. I managed to drag him back to our station by ear.

Fifth, sixth and probably seventh or more-th try: We collected enough Paul Juice. I grabbed the bottle of HCl but when I poured, it was empty. I shook it again. Nothing. I left Natsu with Paul for a while so that I could go to the tiny supply closet on the left corner of the greenhouse. That was where we usually kept most of the science stuff. I ran to the office, thinking the sooner I get it, the sooner I can watch over the monkey with Paul Juice. I grabbed the nearest HCl container my hands could touch and ran back to our work station. When I got back, Natsu and Paul were actually behaving which made me suspicious. He looked nervous and Paul looked like he was about to burst into laughter (if plants had facial expressions.)

I neared the station and asked what the hell he did and he replied with a simple, "Nothing.". I looked for the beaker of Paul Juice but it was nowhere to be found. I glared at Natsu and he smiled sheepishly, making us repeat the process all over again.

So, yeah. I learned to never leave Natsu alone with Paul and/or any other plant—better yet, human.

I was going to pack up and leave but then I felt this wave of nausea wash over me and everything went black.

* * *

**Hi! Sorry if it's too short. I juiced up all the humor left in me because I'm currently experiencing some difficulty with school. So, yeah. Leave a review if you want and I'll see you next week.**

**-Ann**


	4. Fireworks, Dolphins, and Diarrhea

**The Three Clichés: White Chocolate Latté**

**Summary: ** Unrequited love, misunderstandings, cheesy pick-up lines, kisses in the rain, and forbidden fruit. These are some of the very many elements of clichés. Mix them together and you've got yourself a warm, steaming cup of white chocolate latte.

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Fireworks, Dolphins, and Diarrhea**

I woke up groggily. I felt light-headed and weak. My limbs felt useless and I've never felt more pathetic than I ever did before…

Is what I would say if this were a dramatic scene at an overrated Korean soap opera.

I opened my eyes and saw that I was in a white room. Probably at the only hospital in Hargeon. Even though it was quite dark, I made out the color. Or not. White isn't actually a color… Huh, I should really think this through.

Hm…

Anyway, it was dark. I'm guessing…around seven or eight o'clock? I scanned the room to see any clues to show why and how I got here. I only remember parts like packing up and watering Paul. I saw a limp figure on the visitor's bed under the covers, which I'm guessing is Jake, my older, British stepbrother, who has that annoyingly perfect hair and well chiseled abs. How I know? Don't ask.

"Jake?" I croaked out.

"Mmm…" I heard in response to my croaking.

I sighed and took the thin sheet covering me off. It's dark and cold. Just perfect. And they somehow managed to change the warm, comfy uniform I was wearing to a cold, apathetic hospital gown which, by the way, showcased my ass perfectly. I wonder who changed me. I hope it was a young, pretty nurse and not the other way around.

That would just be weird. And not to mention, creepy.

I managed to get off the bed after struggling with the tubes and needles attached to me. I limped to the bathroom, pinching the back of my gown closed, determined to see what I looked like.

"Aauuugghh… Lucy… where are you going?" Jake looked up from his bed and asked (although 'you going' sounded like 'hm showin'.)

I couldn't see his face but it's fine. I can still hear him clearly but he doesn't have his accent, must be because he's so sleepy.

"To the bathroom, Jake. I'll be right back, okay?" I said kindly.

"Ohh… hm'kay… Jak-?" And then I heard a series of loud snores follow.

A microscopic smile made its way to my face. Since my dad and his mom got married, Jake's the only one who's really ever been there for me. Especially when my dad died. The least I could do is be nice to him.

I entered the bathroom and screamed when I saw a raven-haired character sitting on the toilet with its pants down groaning in what seems like agony.

"J-J-J-Jaaaaaaaaaake!" I shouted.

"Whaaaaaat?" The figure replied, reaching out to me.

"Kyaaaaaa!" I grabbed the nearest thing, which was a toilet cleaner, and whacked it several times while still pinching my gown closed.

"Ow… what the fuck did you do that for, Lucy?" It spat out.

"J-Jake?"

"Yea, of course, love." He said with his fancy British accent while clutching his stomach and rubbing his head.

"Then who-?" I said, pointing at the door.

"Kyaaaaaa!"

"Jesus, Lucy, shut up!" Jake said loudly, almost overruling my shrieks.

"T-T-There. T-T-T-There's... Kyaaaaaa!" I shrieked.

"Oh my god, the shrieking. Stop it! You're making my bloody ears deaf!" He yelled while covering his ears.

"G-G-Ghost!" I yelled.

And coincidentally, the door opened.

"What is all the noise about?"

...

"Kyaaaaa!" I grabbed the toilet cleaner and kicked some ghost ass!

"Ow! Ow! Ow! What the fuck, Crazy Bagel Lady?" Crazy... Bagel... Lady?

"Natsu...?"

"Yeah! And you just beat the crap out of me with a... toilet cleaner? Seriously? That's so gross!"

"Well, I'm sorry! I thought you were a ghost or something!" I reasoned.

"Um... guys? Can you get out now? I'm still-" we heard a series of farts. "Experiencing some technical difficulties..."

"Ewww!" I yelled, running out.

"Gross, bro." I heard Natsu say before walking back to the room coolly.

Natsu probably turned the lights on when he went to check up on me and Jake when we were still in the bathroom because it was so bright. Either that or a real ghost turned it on while the three of us were in the bathroom. Scary.

We stared at each other for a long time awkwardly. I fiddled with my thumbs and waited for him to say something which he probably won't because he'll be waiting for me to say something too. Wait, why am I waiting if I know he isn't going to say anything?

"I-" we say at the same time.

"You go first." We say together again.

"No, you go." And again.

"No, you go." And again.

"Stop copying me!" And again.

"Jesus, stop it." And again.

"No, you stop!" And again.

Okay, this is getting irritating. I covered his mouth.

"Where is Paul?" I asked.

Natsu looked at me quizzically.

"Aule?" He said behind my hand, which he accidentally licked.

"Ew! Ew! Ew!" I wiped my Natsu germ-infested hand on his school uniform... Why hasn't he changed yet?

Better question, why was he here?

"Paul? Who the hell is Paul?" His eyes were squinted slightly. If I'd known better, I'd say he was jealous. But, being the low self-esteemed and humble girl I was, dismissed the thought.

"The pitcher plant. Where. Is. Paul?" I said demandingly.

"Oh... Paul? Really? Eh. It's on the table next to your bed."

"HE, you bastard. Not IT."

"Yeah, yeah. He, whatever."

"You wanna say that again, you monkey?"

"Whatever!"

I may be in a hospital. I may have fainted less than six hours ago. I may have not eaten anything since lunch because it somehow slipped my mind. But I still have enough power to round house-kick that douchebag in the face.

"Lucy!" I was hovering over jerk victoriously when I heard Jake call from the bathroom.

"What?" I asked, still smiling.

"You're wearing a hospital gown!" Jake said exasperatedly.

"Again, Crazy Bagel Lady? I knew you wanted me, but I didn't know you wanted me _this_ bad." Natsu was smirking devilishly at me.

I jumped and tried to cover up my exposed... vulnerability... for the second time in less than 24 hours. I must've forgotten to pinch the back of gown closed when I kicked his sorry ass.

_Lucy Heartfilia: 1 + 1 (for kicking his face)_

_Natsu Dragneel: two good looks at my underwear + 1_

God damn that sly son of a bitch. He's in the lead!

"Y-You pervert!" I said, turning tomato red.

"Oh, so I'm the pervert again?" Natsu asked.

"Hell yeah, you are!" I yelled.

"You're the one who flashed your panties at me, stupid!"

"Did you just call me stupid?"

"If the shoe is thrown at your face."

"Heh. It's 'if the shoe fits.', dumbass!"

"Really? Then why is there a shoe flying straight towards you?"

"What are you-Ow! Holy mother of god, that hurts like a little bitch!" I said slumping to my knees as I nursed my precious brain containment unit.

"Hahaha. Who's laughing-Ow! I got hit with the heel!" He exclaimed, doing the same actions as me.

"You two shut up! The other patients are sleeping!" I looked up to see Erza in all her red-headed glory.

Erza works at the hospital part-time during nights as a secretary for Dr. Walker, a known neurosurgeon around here that works at night, to provide for her family since her family belongs to the lower middle-class and her parents don't work so I wasn't really surprised about seeing her walk through the door to my room. How Natsu knew, I don't know. Nor do I care to... Okay, maybe a little. And Erza still owes me an explanation about why she didn't help me at the coffee shop. But for now, I'm fucked.

"He/She started it!" We said at the same time.

"Shut up!" She said with a murderous glare.

We both fell silent, afraid of what the spiteful red-headed demon might do to us.

"Lucy, go rest. Jake, drink some diarrhea tablets. I can smell your shit from outside. Natsu... Natsu, what the fuck are you still doing here? I thought I told you to go home three hours ago." Erza said with arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently on the floor.

"Yes, Erza." Jake and I said simultaneously.

I stood by my bed because I couldn't climb on it because of all the tubes injected in my body and I sort of needed help, and Jake scurried off to the pharmacy downstairs to buy his tablets so he's out of the question.

"Good," Erza said then looked at Natsu. "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I-um-I-I-I w-was worried o-of Lucy. Yeah! I was worried of Lucy!" Natsu said.

Aww... Never knew Natsu had a soft spot for me. Or a soft spot for getting out of trouble, the moron.

"So, Erza. What's my deal?" I asked, changing the topic.

"Dr. Walker is still working on it. She said it'd be ready as soon as you finish your tests tomorrow so don't worry about it much, okay? I'm sure you're fine." She said with a warm smile.

"Thanks, Erz. I was just really worried because of mom's, well, you know." I said, trying to avoid the subject of my mother's, well, you know.

"Don't worry. I'm sure it's nothing. You probably just got too tired." She replied, helping me up my bed.

When she finished she walked towards the door but before she left she stood there for a while.

"Natsu, go home. Now. Lucy, get some rest, okay? You're going to go through a series of tests to make sure that you didn't you know, your mom's you know tomorrow." Erza said.

"Yes, ma'am!" Natsu and I said.

When Erza left in satisfaction of our answers, Natsu took a deep breath.

"So, I'll be heading out now. See you tomorrow, Crazy Bagel Lady!" I saw him murmur something else but I couldn't quite hear it well.

"Sorry?" I said.

"Nothing. I said go to sleep so I won't have to listen to you yapping like a Chihuahua all night." He said with a cheeky grin.

"What did you say, you-"

"Good night, Lucy." He said finally before leaving.

That guy...

* * *

I had just finished my blood test, x-ray (don't know why I needed that one.), urine test, and bowel test (which was extremely awkward since I didn't feel like pooping so I had to force it out and when I went out the bathroom, a lot of people were looking at me. Awk-ward.) and I was on my way back to my room with a young, blond-haired nurse as an escort. That morning, I woke up starving and really needed to pee, so after doing my stuff, a nurse was sent to my room to bring me to the needed rooms.

They had allowed me to wear my normal clothes around the hospital as long as it didn't reveal too much which was a problem on my end at first since I had a total number of one outfit that was conservative enough which consisted of the white sweater Natsu spilled on me a few days ago (Ms. Supetto finished removing the stain.) and a pair of khaki shorts I never knew I had that I made Jake look for in the drawers of my room at home.

I don't know why, but Dr. Walker insisted that I be transported everywhere by wheelchair. Maybe something was wrong, maybe I AM sick. Maybe I got mom's you-know-what (Yeah, you read it right. I got mom's Voldemort. Or at least something that's a Voldemort since I said 'what' and not 'who'. Is there a thing called Voldemort out there somewhere? Like a creepy face-shaped rock with no nose kind of thing?) or maybe I'm just paranoid and over thinking it like I usually do when I enter the hospital? … Nah.

We got to my room via elevator and when we got inside Natsu was sitting on a chair, watching TV. The nurse left me for a while to get some medicines from the… I don't know. The place where you get medicine?

"Natsu?" I said, standing up from the horrid travelling chair.

"Hey, Luce," Luce? That's new. "Got you some of that weird banana bagel you're addicted with over there." He said while pointing at the table.

Banana Bagel… my favorite… how the hell did he know? That stalking piece of shit. Oh, wait. He saw me eat it the first time we met. How sweet. He still remembers what I was eating the first time I beat the living shit out of him. Or should I say his manly treasure. That was a good day.

"Why aren't you at school?" I asked.

"How about I tell you why I'm not going to be excused instead? I'm_ not_ going to be excused for the day because Paul didn't 'accidentally' knock over some pesticide on my food and I_ didn't_ pretend to eat it in front the teachers and staff and they are _not_ panicking about how they are so screwed when the principle, my parents and/or guardians are going to find out so they _didn't_ bribe me with a free day off."

"Sneaky." I said impressed while grabbing the paper bag containing the tiny piece of heaven that I only get to eat once a month which, by the way, I never got to finish this month because of a rare, wild beast called Natsu.

"Mmm..." I moaned.

"Get a room." He said jokingly.

"Oh yeah. I'd get a room with this bagel. I'm sure it'd have an absolutely _great _time." I replied.

Natsu snickered at my response. But I was 80% serious. This bagel is worth it, I swear.

"Wow, Natsu, I think I got a wrong impression of you the first time we met and I think I owe you an apology. I thought that you were pompous and annoying and destructive and arrogant and egotistical," I rambled after finishing my bagel.

"You don't really know how to apologize, do you?" He said with an eyebrow cocked.

"Anyway, the point is that I-" At that moment, the nurse came in, holding a tray of medicines.

"Am deeply sor-Would you stop looking at her ass!" I cannot believe that stupid jerk would look at some other girl's ass in the middle of my deep and meaningful apology!

As soon as the words left his lips, the nurse turned beet red but she didn't look up from her medicine tray.

"Why? Are you jealous?"

"Pah! Me be jealous? Okay, alright! Oh, Natsu, please look at my ass!"

...

"Stop looking at my ass!"

Somehow the nurse slipped out because the next thing I knew, we were alone glaring each other's asses off.

"I cannot believe you! I don't know how but you always make me change my mind the moment I think that you're actually a decent per-" I was cut off by a pair of lips crashing onto mine.

"You talk too much, Luce." He said while walking away with both his hands behind his head.

"…" I was still recovering from the shock of having to have lost my first kiss with this… this… this pig! My first kiss... nothing special, nothing worth talking about, nothing at all.

"What the fuck, man!" I yelled after a few seconds of processing.

"What, woman?" He replied coolly.

"That was my first kiss, you dingdong!" I yelled at him while throwing objects near me at him.

"So? It was mine too! It's not like you're one of those sappy, hormonal teenage girls who want their first kiss to be special with fireworks by the pier with dolphins jumping in joy to celebrate the wonderful event that is the oh so amazing kiss those girls dream about." He said.

"Unfortunately, I am one of those sappy, hormonal teenage girls who want their first kiss to be special with fireworks by the pier with dolphins jumping in joy to celebrate the wonderful event that is the oh so amazing kiss I _was _going to have but can never have because of you." I replied while cracking my knuckles.

His demeanor faltered as he witnessed a demon ten times worse than Erza ever could be released from the fiery pits of hell known as myself.

* * *

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to beat you up _that_ badly." I said apologetically for the umpteenth time.

"Look, you crazy she-devil, I broke my nose, I'm covered in bruises, and I feel like crap so you can keep your insincere apology and let me keep what's left of my manly pride." He said.

I stifled a laughter as I helped a male (Somehow a female nurse made me uncomfortable when Natsu was involved so I requested a male nurse when Natsu wasn't looking. Don't tell him. His head'll get big as Jupiter.) nurse bandage him up.

After the male nurse finished, he led Natsu and I to my room since Natsu didn't want to be admitted and I sort of, kind of feel a little bit guilty. I mean, it was just a kiss. A kiss that should've been special with fireworks... and dolphins... and possibly a dancing leprechaun showering coins of gold around... by the pier at sunset... Yeah, I'm gonna kill his sorry ass someday.

He was slumped against the wall of my room because he didn't want to sit on the chair the hospital provided. I sat beside him and we both enjoyed each other's company with no words needed. (Argh, I feel so girly.)

"Hey, Natsu," I said after a few minutes of silence.

"Hm?"

"Was that really your first kiss?" I asked curiously.

"Yep. Well, my technical first kiss was with my mom when I was five or so, but she died in a car accident a year ago..." Natsu flashed a melancholic smile. "So, congratulations, Ms. Heartfilia, you are the official first kiss of the great Natsu Dragneel…" The tone of his voice sounded so longing, so... sad. And I felt sad too.

"Can you tell me about your mom?" I asked.

"Maybe in the future. But for now let's just…"

And we sat there in silence.

* * *

**Oh, God, the NaLu feels! *dies of fluff* Hey, guuuyyss****. I've found a way to help with my school problem so, yay! I think I can continue writing humor now, so expect longer chapters! Updated early because I won't be around on Saturday/Friday. The world just won't give the Philippines a break, will it? With the floods and everything that's going on. *Sigh* Leave a review if you'd like and stay safe, everyone!**

**To skelekc: Yes,yes it is intended to be NaLu.**

**-Ann**


	5. Duhn, Duhn, Duuuuhhn!

**The Three Clichés: White Chocolate Latté**

**Summary:** Unrequited love, forbiden fruit, misunderstandings, betrayal, cheesy pick-up lines, kisses in the rain, and rejection. Those are some of the very many elements of clichés. Mix them all together and you've got yourself a warm, steaming cup of white chocolate latté.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fairy Tail.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Duhn, Duhn, Duuuuhhn!**

_Previously:_

_"Was that really your first kiss?" I asked curiously._

_"Yep. Well, my technical first kiss was with my mom when I was five or so, but she died in a car accident a year ago..." Natsu flashed a melancholic smile. "So, congratulations, Ms. Heartfilia, you are the official first kiss of the great Natsu Dragneel…" The tone of his voice sounded so longing, so... sad. And I felt sad too._

_"Can you tell me about your mom?" I asked._

_"Maybe in the future. But for now let's just…"_

_And we sat there in silence._

And now:

I woke up with a throbbing back and slobber all over my face. Ew. What is this thing? It's all slimy and smells like Gajeel's old unwashed gym socks.

I looked up and saw a familiar person with pink hair. Hm... who is this pink-haired man and why is he indirectly spitting on me?

Oh, that's right.

This is the guy who poured coffee all over me the first time we met. This is the guy who tried to put his hand down Paul's, throat. He's the guy who stole my first kiss. And now? He's the guy that's going to regret ever meeting me.

I pushed the stupid monkey off me harshly and smacked that sorry son of a bitch's face.

"Get off me, you hippo! You weigh more than my goddamned grandmother!" I yelled.

"Hah? ...Huh? ...Wha-? *snores*"

-.-'

I stood up and left him to sleep on the floor.

Today was the day the test results from all those days at the hospital were coming in so I was nervous as hell. Am I sick with mom's Voldemort or am I not? Am I fine or not? Am I hungry or not?

Well, not really. Hungry, I mean.

With shaking hands, I opened the door to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Then, I dressed and exited the bathroom. Natsu had disappeared but I did see a note on the table.

'late 4 school. b bck ltr.' It said almost illegibly.

Okay, I'm like super waiting forward to it! Sense the sarcasm, peeps.

I climbed on my bed and turned the TV on. A few hours of HBO later, I tuned into nick toons and watched my daily dose of Spongebob. Then, just when Patrick was about to jump of a cliff near jellyfish fields, I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said while turning the TV off.

"Lulu!"

Crap. Chassidy.

"Hey, Chas!" I replied uncomfortably.

"Like you missed, like, I don't know, like a lot! Like Ethan, like totally asked me to homecoming! Like isn't it great?" She said continuously while sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Like OMG! Like how did he totally do it?" Don't judge me. I have to keep up this charade with her. No, I am **not **afraid of her. Just because she is friends with more people than me and has the power o completely destroy my reputation does not mean that I am afraid of her. I am Lucy Heartfilia, right?

...

Okay, maybe I'm a little scared but that's not the point.

"Like, he so totally did it in the cafeteria in front of like the whole student body, minus you of course," she pointed as if it was completely necessary to mention that I wasn't at school and that I had to stay in this god forsaken room for what seems like years. Thanks, Captain Obviousa!

"I was like," She made a face. "Then he like so totally went on one knee and like with roses and stuff he like asked me to be his date!" She said excitedly.

"And did you like totally say yes?" I asked in my attempt at the same excitement levels as her.

"Like ew, no, Dean Mason asked me afterwards." She said while checking her nails.

This is why I'd prefer to be a man. I once had a talk with my friend, Marvin, about gender. Boy, we had a **big **argument. I wanted to be a guy and I was trying to convince him to trade you-knows with me. He was **not** happy about that.

"Like Oh my God, Dean Mason is like the captain of the football team, and he's like totally cute!" I said girlishly (Ick.).

"I know right? Anyway, just wanted to say that Miss Mosterson was like exploding a while ago because you like still weren't in class. I'll see you when you get back, Lulu! Toodles!" She said while blowing a kiss _then _she finally left.

Yes, my teacher's name is Miss Monsterson. Just kidding. Her real name is Lacy Courts. But she's like fifty-something already and she still doesn't have a husband. There were rumors that she **was **married but the dude ran off with a nicer, younger, and practically better version of her and he managed to take the custody of their son since the government thought she had anger issues. With her current attitude, I wouldn't be surprised if it was true.

Oh God, if I had to stay in the same room as Chassidy for another second, I will seriously strangle he-

"Lulu, there's a totally hot guy outside!" She whisper-yelled.

"Like let him in, dummy!" I said playfully (Oh, dear Lord. I apologize for the sins I have done just please, _please _make her go away.)

"Like okay, Lulu!" Finally.

"Lulu!" I was seriously about to take the butter knife on my end table from lunch and stab Chassidy in the face when I realized that the voice was like totally deeper... Oh dear sweet Mother of God, please do not tell me I just said that. P. S. Natsu is **not **hot.

"Natsu?" I said, placing the knife back on the plate where it belonged.

"Like who did you think it was, silly?" He said mockingly with a smirk on his face.

"Shut up. I had to do it." I replied, throwing a pillow at his face.

"Haha, sure. Maybe you're just saying that so you'll have an excuse to be a girl." He said, throwing the pillow back.

"Shut up, you weirdo. I am 100% man." I replied while thumping my chest with my fists.

Bad idea. It hurt like hell.

"Hahaha, you're so cute, Lulu." He said.

I don't know why but those tongues from a few days (Week? Weeks? Months? I don't know.) ago came back and they've managed to make their way to my back because I feel shivery all down my back.

"Aww, Lulu's blushing! Could it be she's falling for the mos handsome guy in the world called Natsu?" He asked, mocking surprise.

"Shut up!" I yelled.

"Whatevs, Lu. I'm really hungry, do you have any food?" He asked.

"No, Nats." I said through grit teeth.

"Nats? That's new. First a pokemon, now a mispronunciation of nuts? Wonderful, Lu." He said while clapping.

"Shut up." I said again.

"You know, you keep on saying shut up. Is that like your back up comeback or something when you don't know what to say?" He asked with a smirk.

"Shut- I mean, go buy food, you weirdo! And bring some fertilizer for Paul!" I said while throwing the pillow at him again.

"Yes, yes, you're majesty." He said, returning the pillow and walking out.

At the moment Natsu walked out, I screamed into my pillow. Then the door opened.

"Hello, Miss Heartfilia," A man in a nurse's uniform with a mask covering his face came in. "I'm here to tell you a message."

"What is it?"

"Your dear master, Mark, has said that he has returned but can not come to see you."

I cocked an eyebrow.

"Why? Is it because he's currently a nurse wearing a mask?" I asked.

The nurse laughed and took his mask off. And guess what, I was right. It was Mark.

"I can never trick you, Linguini." He said while laughing.

"It's just because you're an idiot, Mario. You're the only one who calls himself master now a days except for snobby little rich kids." I said while smirking.

Mark came near me with a smirk on his face. He took out something from his pocket then asked me to close my eyes tightly.

"I have a present for you, Linguine. I looked really hard for this so take care of it, okay?"

"What is it?" I asked.

"Guess."

"Is it small?"

"Yes."

"Let me guess, is it your penis?"

"Harhar, Linguine. I'm totally laughing my ass off." He replied sarcastically.

He took my hand and I felt something cold on top of it. I opened my eyes and saw a gold chain.

"Er... thanks?" I said, poking the chain.

"Linguine, stop being an idiot. It's a special necklace." He said, taking the chain and putting it around my neck.

Then I noticed the small heart-shaped pendant with diamonds engraved on it to form the letter 'L'. There was only one person I know who owns this locket

"Oh my god, where did you find this?" I asked while gripping the locket.

"Oh, you know." He said while waving his hand dismissively. "Actually I looked hard. All around Fiore. Now thank your master, you lowly servant." He said in a posh voice.

"Oh, yes. I thank you master and I apologize to have troubled you with this matter." I said in the same tone he used while mockingly bowing my head.

"It's good to know that a servant like you has manners. Now go make me a sandwich." He said while pointing to the door.

"Yes, master." I said while climbing out of my bed mockingly.

I walked away slowly then turned and punched him in his moneymaker, not enough to hurt him but enough to cause pain, if that makes sense.

"There, master, a specially made knuckle sandwich." I said with a triumphous smile.

"And it was a pleasure to indulge. Good job, peasant." He said while rubbing the bruise on his face.

We stared at each other in a comfortable silence with smiles on our faces.

"I missed you, Linguine." He suddenly said.

The huge 'haha-in-your-face-you-little-bitch' smile on my face turned into a warm one.

"I did too, Mario." I replied somewhat uneasily.

He smiled and walked towards me with his eyes locked on mine (Damn, I'm such a girl!). He cupped my cheek (srsly?) and leaned forward. And just when we were about to stick each other's tongue down out throats, he kissed my cheek-the one right next to the lip.

"...I know you're not yet ready." He said.

I blushed and somehow felt a little guilty. How do I tell him I'm not a lip-virgin anymore?

He let go of me and sat down on the visitor's chair with his head down and hands grasping each other.

"Um... Mark?" I started.

He looked up with a longing smile.

"What is it, Linguine?"

"I... I lost my first kiss." I said with my head down.

"Oh... Oh! Okay, I get it. Is he your... erm... boyfriend?" He asked.

I shook my head with my head still down. Please, to God, Buddah, Alah, whoever is up there, I'm begging, please, please don't let him do what all those cheesy, unrealistic boys do in crappy romance fanfictions.

"Then is it alright if I do-" I felt arms grab me then the next thing I knew, I was kissing the guy I gave my everything to before.

I felt like crying. I feel so guilty when I shouldn't be. This is what my first kiss should have been like. But, I don't feel the shit they call magic I'm supposed to feel.

We broke apart panting.

"This?" he whispered while placing his forehead on mine.

Spoke too soon. Me and Buddah goin' haves a talksie later.

"Mark, don't start." I said, teary eyed.

"I still love you... please give me another chance."

"Mark... I'm sorry but what you did... I can't- I can't remove the image of you with her and- I'm just... sorry. I agreed to be friends because I didn't want to lose someone I cared about. And I almost did. And I don't want to have to go through that again."

"Lucy, please- I'm sorry. Please. Please." He said while grabbing my hands.

"Mark..."

"Lucy, please, I'm begging you. I promise I won't hurt you anymore. I am _so_ sorry." He said, taking my hands and kissing them.

"Mark, no. You and I know that if we ever get back together, we won't ever be happy. Please learn to accept that because I have and it's been two years. Please let me go."

* * *

**Ohh... who is Mark? Why is this chapter not funny at all? Why is this chapter so anti-NaLu? What's with the necklace Mark gave to Lucy? Why is it significant? When will I stop asking questions? All of these will be explained in the next chapter because I have left a cliffhanger! Bwahahahaha!**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Jk.**

* * *

"Uhm... excuse-excuse me?" A squeaky voice said.

I didn't notice the tears streaking down my face. I took my hands away from Mark's and wiped the tears on my face away. I walked to the door and left Mark standing by my bed.

A short, blue-haired girl, probably an intern, was standing in front of the door, shakily gripping the clipboard in her hands as if her life depended on it.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"Uh-um. Th-The um-uh t-test r-results um-uh are-um with m-me now." She stuttered.

"Well, come in. Don't be shy." I said kindly, sensing that it was the only thing this short girl needed.

I ushered her in the room and saw that Mark had sat down on the visitor's chair again. I felt disappointed that I saw auburn hair and not pink hair was on that head. Natsu was probably still at school doing his stuff. I hope Paul is okay...

"So, um, how am I fucked up?" I asked.

"Um, y-you, um, y-your-your, um, u-urine, bow-bowel, and x-ray ar-are clear but I-I'm afraid, um, you have, um, leukemia. I'm sorry." Then she ran away.

Okay...?

"You have... leukemia?" Mark said, unbelieving.

"I guess so..."

I have leukemia. The cancer of cancers. The medical murderer. The thing that killed my mom.

"Lucy, are you okay?"

"Yep, just dandy." I said with a wide smile.

I feel empty. The same feeling I got the first time I saw my mom lying peacefully in her white casket covered with white and purple carnations. She was so... pretty, so... alive. But I knew otherwise. For two years she was at war with her illness and the season after, she went back home.

A lone tear escaped my eye. Then another. And another. And I was crying. Mark wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I buried my face on his chest a cried. I gripped my locket- my only remainder of my mom and kissed it.

"You're going to be okay. I promise. I'll find a way. Even if it's the last thing I'd do." He whispered reassuringly.

I heard the door open and close but I didn't pay mind to it. I'm going to die for fuck's sake. The door can wait.

"Lucy, who's this?"

Crap.

* * *

**Hahaha! Still a cliffhanger and still so short.. :) Now it's done. Hope you enjoyed! It wasn't very funny because I couldn't find anything that could make leukemia funny and my English teacher decided to have her menopause today. Actually, I think she has her menopause everyday... hm... Uploaded earlier because I couldn't think of anything to do. Anyway, the review section is just a click away, so why don't you click it and just write your thoughts then press submit? Bye!**

**-Ann**


	6. The Ghost, the Stepmom, and the Ice Crea

**The Three Clichés: White Chocolate Latté**

**Summary**: Unrequited love, forbidden fruit, misunderstandings, betrayal, cheesy pick-up lines, kisses in the rain, and rejection. Those are some of the very many elements of clichés. Mix them all together and you've got yourself a warm, steaming cup of white chocolate latté.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fairy Tail

* * *

**Chapter 5: The Ghost, the Stepmom, and the Ice Cream Parlor**

I hate Thursdays. Wait, no, I despise Thursdays. To me, Thursdays are worth spitting on and I think they shouldn't even exist in the Augustinian calendar.

"Why?" One may ask.

Well, One, you see Thursday was when my mom died, my dad got married, I had four periods of gym class with my horror of a stepmother, Lily, as our gym teacher.

So Thursday, go fuck yourself.

"Lulu, let's go already so we can celebrate." Natsu said, smirking.

Yes, people, you heard it right. Natsu said 'celebrating' because as far as he knows, I'm fine, healthy, and perfectly okay.

Now, you might wonder, "Lucy, why are you keeping this a big a secret from him?" Well, my dear fan, 'tis because the last thing I need is for someone like Natsu to be a doting son of a bitch and will treat me differently.

Shallow? Yes, very.

"Well, Natsie, I feel like going home now. So please just drive me home." I told him.

"If that is what you wish, your majesty." He told me while he held out his elbow for me to take.

"Yes, servant. Now scurry along quickly, I will follow shortly." I said, using my best Queen Elizabeth voice and ignoring his offer.

"Suit yourself, you royal pain in the ass." He replied, still using his crappy English accent imitation and walking away towards the elevators.

'What happened to you guys, Lucy?' You're probably wondering.

Well, imaginary friends, when I was drenching Mark's shirt with salt water from my eyes, Natsu had walked in and asked what was going on. I replied casually that the soap opera I was watching was so sad and that my friend happened to pass by and comforted me. Being the royal idiot he was, he believed me. Mark left afterwards, saying he had stuff to do and never came back.

'Didn't Natsu ask what the test results were?' Well, yeah, of course he did. I told him I was perfectly fine and he didn't have to worry. And he believed me. And good thing too because I don't plan on telling him the truth any time soon.

'Why isn't Mark around?' Like I said, he said he had some stuff to do and never came back but that was after I told him to give me some space for now since I don't know how to react to ex-boyfriends who suddenly want to get back together again. Or best friends that are also ex-boyfriends that come out of the blue, saying they want to get together again.

'Natsu has a car?!' Calm your tits! Yes, he does. I asked him one day how he managed to afford a car and he said that he had a late uncle who gave him the car in his will. Uncle probably didn't realize that his nephew was a dumbass and could probably destroy the damned car.

"Ms. Heartfilia?" A doctor with green hair (Yes, green. This world is really weird. There're pinkettes, blunettes, and now greenettes. And to make it weirder, they all looked natural.) walked in with a blue clipboard.

"Yeah, Doc?"

"Here are some medical certificates to allow you from skipping any physical activities from school or from any outside affiliation." He handed me three papers, all with a melted seal and an authorized signature.

"Thanks, Doc." I smiled brightly.

At least Thursday isn't so bad anymore. I don't have to deal with dear stepmummy anymore.

I kept the certificates in a brown envelope I found and held them securely between my body and arm (Basically, my armpit. And no, it is completely sweat and stench-free.). I exited the room and went downstairs via elevator.

I was on the eighth floor when the elevator doors opened and came in a woman wearing a hospital gown. She pushed the button for the sixth floor.

"So, what're you in for?" I asked nervously.

The woman turned her head towards me slowly with her hair covering her face.

"My baby..." She replied hoarsely.

"Oh, what happened to your baby?" I asked curiously, nervousness melting away.

"My baby..." She said again.

"Tell me, woman, what is up with your baby?" I asked shaking her by her shoulders.

...

"My baby..." She replied again.

"Fine, you don't want to tell me, I'm just gonna ignore you." Then the elevator doors opened and she exited the closed space.

I stared uninterestedly at her but then her head turned an exactly three hundred sixty degree angle.

"My baby... is dead." My eyes widened as I saw the red bracelet on her hand. Before I even got to scream, the doors closed again.

"Kyaaaaaa!" I screamed all throughout the ride to the first floor.

When the doors opened I ran towards the parking lot and looked for Natsu, not even catching a single breath from screaming. I mean, I just had a conversation with a goddamn ghost, for crying out loud! I fucking touched it!

I felt a hand grab my shoulder and pull me back. My scream reduced to a whimper as I felt a cold breath on my neck.

'Quit being a wimp, you pussy.'

I took a deep breath and readied my leg to kick the ghost in the face. I closed my eyes tightly, afraid of the ghost's face.

'Three, two, one.'

"Ow-! Lulu, what the hell?" I opened my eyes and saw Natsu on the ground, nursing his bleeding nose.

"Natsu?" I asked.

"Duh. How many pink-haired sex gods do you know?" He asked cockily.

"None. But I do know a pink-haired idiot." I said, crouching down with a smirk.

"Touché." He said, standing up. "Why were you screaming?"

"Oh yeah. Kyaaaa!" I resumed screeching.P

"Jesus Christ, make it stop!" He put his free hand over my mouth but I still didn't stop screaming.

He started shaking me frantically until I did shut up.

"Are you sane? ...Good." He slowly dropped his hand from my mouth, afraid that I would scream again.

"Ghost-elevator-touch-baby-bracelet-cramps!" The sudden twisting pain on my pelvic area didn't help me in explaining the situation to Natsu.

"Relax, woman!" He said, shaking me by the shoulders.

I responded by taking deep breaths.

"Okay, you're right. I'm okay now." I said, calming down.

"Just calm down, woman!" Natsu exclaimed, continuing to shake me roughly.

"Natsu, I've already calm down." I said.

"Oh, then I need to calm down." He said, dropping his arms.

"I saw a ghost in the elevator. She was looking for her baby and I thought that something happened to her baby so I asked but she kept saying, 'My baby...' over and over again and then-" I wasn't finished rambling when Natsu lowered his head and kissed me. Again. For the second time.

Surprisingly, I didn't pull away. Quite the opposite actually. He was the one that pulled away, leaving me a little disappointed.

He tilted his head forward and placed a hanky over his nose. We sat there in the parking lot for about twenty minutes, him doing his stuff and me watching. Boring as hell but it's my fault so shush.

I stared awkwardly at Natsu. What the hell do you do in situations like this?

"Um, Natsu, let's go home?" I said, unsure if that was the right thing to do.

"Yeah, okay. Your stuff is already in the car. Let's just go." He said.

We walked towards a black Chevy Corvette. I couldn't help but let out a low whistle.

"Damn, how rich was your uncle?" I asked, opening the front seat door.

"Poor as hell. He sold everything just to buy this baby. Wife ended up leaving him because of it." He said while taking the driver's seat.

We exited the parking lot and drove towards the direction of our estate. Halfway through the ride, Natsu rolled the windows down, and pulled out a cigarette from his jacket pocket and lit it up. He rolled down the window and I can't stop myself from thinking he so damn hot when he does that.

"You smoke?" I asked.

"Yeah but only when I'm stressed."

"You're stressed?" I asked a little bit more persistently.

"Well, a little."

"Why?"

"Stuff."

"Stuff like what?"

"Stuff that you shouldn't worry about."

"C'mon, don't be a spoil sport."

"I get that you're curious and all but you need to stop asking questions. It's annoying the hell out of me."

"You know those things could kill you."

"I know," He took another hit from the cigarette then letting out a breath, creating a white fog thing in the air. "But there are just some things inside me that I need to kill." (A/N: Familiar?)

I kind of feel mad at how he's just wasting his life like that. I mean, I have cancer and here he is asking for death with a stick. Of course he doesn't know that but still.

"Aww..."

Natsu obviously wasn't in the mood so annoying the crap out of him is out of the question.

"Can I try?" I asked him, eyeing the white stick between his fingers.

Natsu looked at me skeptically at the corner of his eye before giving me the cancer stick.

I've always wanted to try if this was as good as they say. I've heard that they were minty. How is a burning stick minty?

I put the white stick over my mouth and took a breath. Instantly, I let out a coughing fit.

"What-cough-the-cough, cough- fuck is this-cough?" I asked.

Natsu chuckled in response.

"You're so cute, Lulu." He said while taking the death stick out of my hand and taking another hit.

I blushed and stared enviously at how easily he managed to smoke cigarettes without turning into an eighty-year-old that's choking on his own spit.

"Shut up! You know, I don't get you. One moment you're laughing and teasing me then the next you're all serious." I tell him averting my gaze outside the window.

Natsu remained silent and stared on the road. Though I did see an incredibly tiny, microscopic smile on his face.

* * *

"Lucy-chan~" Oh, dear Lord. Please help me overcome my tempting desire to kill the next person I see.

"Lily! I'm back." I said in a fake happy voice.

"Oh, Lucy, we missed you so much!" She said, waving her hands dramatically in the air then clinging on to my shoulder.

Now, you might be wondering how such a sweet lady with such a pretty name be such a horror. Trust me, she is much worse when there's no one she knows around. Think of Kim Kardashian's ass and times it by two-wait, no, times it by five or ten. Whatever floats your boat.

I patted her back awkwardly and pleadingly looked at Natsu for a little help but he only snickered in reply with an amused expression on his face.

I mouthed, 'Damn you.'

He replied, 'I care not.'

Or maybe it was, 'I carrot.'. But I really doubt Natsu would openly admit that he's a delicious snack for fluffy bunnies.

"Lily, I'm really tired. Please let me rest." I pleaded.

"Oh no, no, no, Lucy-chan. You have a lot of chores to do because you missed so many chore days." There it was.

"Of course." I said.

"But don't worry, Lucy-chan! Jake volunteered to help you out when he gets back from football practice. Honestly, I think he needs to rest but my son is just too kind, ne?" She said with a dark aura surrounding her.

"Sorry?" I said, not knowing what to say.

"It's okay, Lucy-chan! Just get to work quickly, okay?" She said, skipping back to the house.

"So, that was the infamous stepmom of yours?" Natsu said, dropping his cigarette and stepping on it.

I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"How do you know about dear stepmummy?" I asked.

"You talk in your sleep." He said while taking out my bag from the back of his car.

"I do?" I asked.

"Yep."

"What kinds of crap did I say?" I asked, terrified of the possibility of him knowing my deepest, darkest, most personal secrets.

"Oh, you know. Stuff like, 'I wish tacos were real.' Or like, 'Marshmallows~' then you'd repeat it several times." He said, imitating my still-sleeping voice.

I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Damn, I'm hilarious!

"You're such a weirdo, Lucy-chan." He said, mocking Lily.

"So are you, Natsu-kun." I said while ushering him to bring my bags inside.

The only problem was when I entered the house, dust, smelly laundry, and week-old pizza was sprawled everywhere.

Oh, boy. Two or three weeks away and I come home to a fucking pig sty. I put my hair up in a messy bun and led Natsu to my room, occasionally moving a shirt or two.

"What a place." Natsu said, dropping my bags.

"I know." I said, jumping on my bed.

Natsu followed and laid beside me with both his hands behind his head.

"Hey, Natsu," I said after a few moments of silence. "Why did you move to Hargeon?"

"...I came looking for my dad." He replied in a hushed tone

"Why?"

"He disappeared before I was born. When my mom died, I cleaned up her old room in Magnolia. I saw a letter from Igneel Dragneel, my father. He said how sorry he was and how if we ever needed help, he'd be in Hargeon. So I decided to come here with my- I hate to say it- best friend. The letter was sent around five years ago so I'm not sure where he is now." He replied, his voice cracking slightly at the mention of his mother.

"Do you think he's still here?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Although I do have something to say to him."

I rolled to my side so that I would be facing him.

"Well, I'm not really gonna tell him anything as I'm gonna punch him for being an asshole to my mom then I'd give him a lecture on how to be a proper father and husband." He said, looking at me in the corner of his eyes, position not changing.

"Aaaah! We're getting too emotional!" I said, standing up. "C'mon, let's go get ice cream." I said, with a smile.

He had a 'why-not?' look on his face and shrugged then followed after me.

"I'm gonna get a double chocolate fudge flavor on a wafer cone!" I said excitedly.

"Well, I'm gonna get strawberry shortcake on a bear cone!" He said, walking a little bit ahead of me.

"Why, to match your hair?" I asked smugly.

"...Sure. Let's go with that." He said with a smirk.

"What? Natsu, tell me!" I exclaimed, sensing a secret behind his words.

"Ah-ah-ahh! Lulu, you can't overwork yourself. You just got home from the hospital."

"So? That doesn't mean I can kick your ass any less harder than I used to. Which reminds me, where the hell is Paul?" I asked, very worried about my baby.

"He's at home. My roommate is watching over him."

"Oh, okay. Race you to the ice cream parlor!" I yelled, changing subjects randomly as quick as I brought them up.

"Hey! No fair." He yelled, running after me.

I stuck my tongue at him and ran towards Sadie's Rainbow Creams. Girly name, I know right? But I love that place so no mocking unless I say so, okay?

...

Hey! Natsu just ran past me!

* * *

**Heeyyy, Y'aaall! 'Tis I with the newest chapter of TTC: WCL. The real title is so long to write so I'm just gonna call it that. Anyway, added NaLu fluff a little bit so sorry if it isn't that fitting. I would like to say thanks for all you guys' constructive criticism and your opinions :3 I'll try to make it better so please throw your (polite) comments at me, bro.**

**-Ann**


	7. Berto Gonzales and the Annoying Plot

**The Three Clichés: White Chocolate Latté**

**Summary:** Unrequited love, forbbiden fruit, misunderstandings, betrayal, cheesy pick-up lines, kisses in the rain, and rejection. Those are some of the very many elements of clichés. Mix them all together and you've got yourself a warm, steaming cup of white chocolate latté.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Fairy Tail.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Berto Gonzales and the Annoying Plot Twist**

So, I'm at my house. Natsu's with me (I don't know why). We just finished eating some ice cream (me eating delicious double chocolate fudge, and him eating yucky strawberry shortcake) and were currently playing Sims 3.

School announced a three day break because they were investigating a few teachers because of some rumors of sexual harassment going around, to which Lily threw a tantrum at because "her son should deserve the best because he's the best". She didn't give a damn about me, not like I care but it would've been nice. I know I'm supposed to be doing my homework but I don't want to and you can't make me!

"Natsu, I am not going to make the god damned sim have pink hair." I said irritatedly.

"But I thought you were basing him off of me!" He whined.

"Okay, first of all, the sim's a girl, and second, what the hell made you think that I was basing this beautiful creature off of that horrid thing you call yourself?" I said.

"Ouch," He said mockingly while placing a hand on his heart overdramatically. "You know you love me, Luce." He said, wagging his brows suggestively.

I rolled my eyes and continued editing Berto. Yes, I've named my female, with boobs, sim, Berto .

Berto Gonzales, be exact.

I saw Natsu stand up from his seat and wander around my room through my peripheral vision. I ignored him and continued picking Berto's nose.

No, I did not pick her nose. I picked out her nose. Picking someone else's nose would just be weird.

"Hey, Luigi, what's up with all these awards?" I heard Natsu ask.

"Th-They're nothing!" I yelled, jumping out of my seat and tackling him.

"What the fu- Hey, you're blushing!" He exclaimed, pushing me off him.

"Wha- No, I'm not!" I retorted, pushing back the heat from my cheeks.

"Yes, you are. Why is Little Lucy blushing?" He asked, standing up and taking a look at my plaques.

Hurriedly, I grabbed his ankles and dragged him down then sat on him.

"God, Lucy, how much do you weigh?" He yelled between breaths.

"I'd rather not answer that. I'm still carrying a little vacation weight." I replied.

"Get off me!" He screeched.

"No, you're gonna look at those things again." I said, pushing a little more weight on him.

Natsu grabbed my wrists and rolled over, making him sitting on top of me. I struggled but his grip was too strong.

"You see, Lulu-chan, I like to be the one on top." He whispered seductively.

I rolled my eyes and used his idiocity as a distraction and pushed him off me.

"Ow! I try to be sexy and this is what I get?" He complained, rubbing his butt.

"You call that sexy?" I mocked. "That was as sexy as a naked mole rat wearing a g-string!"

"Whatever, Little Miss Fiore 2003."

My eyes widened in surprise.

"Wha-" I was about to yell at him when my phone started ringing.

I glared at him before answering the phone.

"Hello?" Natsu went back to the awards and put the plaque back. I almost sighed in relief but then he picked up another medal.

"Lucy, we're coming over." I heard Erza say.

I glared at him and attempted to get the medal back but he raised his arm so that I wouldn't be able to reach it.

"What? Why?" I asked Erza while warning Natsu silently to put the medal back.

Natsu looked like he wanted to burst out laughing but settled for mouthing, 'I can't breathe! Most pies eaten?!'

Or maybe it was, 'I Cambridge. Host byes titen.'

...

Yeah, I'm not good at this.

"Well, we wanted to visit you." Erza replied.

I wasn't able to respond because I tackled Natsu to the ground.

"Sure, Erz-Aaah!" Natsu started thrashing like an insane gyrados.

"Are you okay, Lucy?"

"Yeah, I-" Natsu started thrashing again so I pushed his head down so that his face was squished on the floor.  
"-am perfectly fine."

"Okay, we'll be there in five."

"Sure. Bye." I hung up the phone. Maybe my grip loosened because Natsu somehow found a way to jump up from below me, throwing me in the process.

"Ow!" I exclaimed.

"Hahaha! In your face, Honey Booboo Child!"

I glared at him and almost jumped him but then he took my laptop from my desk, making the charger strech, and then he moved the mouse a lot. He spun the laptop around, making me see Berto smiling and a blue panel on the side. It was under the hair tab. The mouse was hovering over pink and I knew exactly what he was planning to do.

"You wouldn't!" I yelled.

"Oh, I would." He retorted with a smug look on his face.

I glared at him and looked around my room to see if he had anything that I could hold hostage so a negotiation would be in order. Lucky for me, a familiar white ice cream coupon was lying a few steps next to me with a pair of scissors beside it.

I grabbed them quickly and position it as if the ice cream coupon was being cut.

"You wouldn't!" He accused.

"Oh, I would." I mimicked.

We both circled around my room, both glaring at each other intently. I swear you could hear vultures in the background.

"How about we drop them at the same time?" I suggested.

Natsu nodded in response.

"One," I started.

"Two,"

"Th-"

"Lucy-nee!" A voice exclaimed.

Michelle, my cousin from my mother's side, entered the room and started running towards me but then tripped on my laptop charger causing Natsu to click the pink option making me cut the coupon in two.

"No!" We (Natsu and I) yelled at the same time.

Michelle looked like she wanted to cry. Sigh, see the crap I have to go through.

"Bertoooooo!" I yelled dramatically.

"Ice creeeeaaam!" Natsu imitated.

"Micheeeeelle!" Michelle added unnecessarily.

"Shut up!" A familiar red head entered the room along with Levy and the others.

At that instant, Natsu and I shrunk in fear but Michelle remained unchanged because she had no idea what Erza was capable of.

"What is going on?!" Erza asked loudly.

"He/She started it!" We accused at the same time.

"Shut up!" Erza said again louder.

Again, we shrunk in fear.

"Erza, calm down." Jellal had spoken.

...

Jellal had spoken!

Jellal entered the room with his arms crossed and eybrow cocked. Erza turned into a Washington Apple as he neared her.

'Ohoho, what do we have here?' I thought to myself.

But onto more important matters.

"Jelly, you're talking!" I yelled squeezing Jellal into a bear hug.

Jellal had a stoic expression on his face and remained motionless and Erza looked like she wanted to go buy popcorn and watch as if we were a masterpiece movie like Insidious or Dispicable Me or something.

"Lucy!" I heard Levy call.

"Levy!" I let go of Jellal and ran up to Levy who was holding Gajeel's hand. Huh, I guess they were on again.

"How are you? I heard you got your mom's-" I covered Levy's mouth because of a certain pink haired idiot attempting to nonchalantly eavesdrop on our conversation.

I shook my head and removed my hand from her mouth. Levy cocked an eyebrow but remained quiet.

"Lucy-san," I heard a quiet voice say.

I peered over Levy's shoulder and saw a shag of blue hair peeking behind my doorframe.

"Wendy-chan?" I called.

At the sound of her name, Wendy came closer, shyly looking down at her feet.

Wendy is my sister. Not my blood-sister or stepsister, she's my sister in the Big Sister Program I had to join because of a certain someone's position in the student council. Not that I regret it. Wendy's the sweetest little sister anyone could ever ask for.

"Wendy-chan, come here!" I said excitedly.

Wendy ran up to me with tears in her eyes. She buried her face in my stomach and started sobbing.

I guess she heard about my Voldemort.

"Wendy..." I muttered.

"Wendy?!" I heard Natsu ruin the moment.

Wendy looked up at the sound of her name again. Her eyes widened at the sight of Natsu.

"Natsu-nii!" She exclaimed, running up to him.

Strangly, I feel neglected.

"Natsu-nii?" I said, my voice tinted with jealousy.

"Wendy is our cousin. Her mom is my dad's sister and their other brother is Natsu's father." Gajeel explained.

Gajeel and Natsu were related.

...

NATSU AND GAJEEL WERE RELATED?!

"You're related?!" I exclaimed.

They both stared stoically before simutaneously saying a 'Yeah...'.

"Of course they are. Didn't you know that, Lucy?" Levy said.

"No. And I'm hurt that no one bothered to tell me." I said, mock sulking.

"Lucy..." Levy said in an 'I-don't-know-her-so-don't-ask-me' voice.

"Wow, this is amazing. This idiot," I pointed to Natsu. "and this idiot," I pointed to Gajeel. "are related to this angel." I grabbed Wendy's shoulders gently, chirping up almost immediately, fullfilling my urge to comment.

"Hey!" The two idiots complained at the same time.

"What? You know it's true." I said.

"Yeah..." They said, sulking.

"Lucy-san, I will really miss you!" Wendy exclaimed loudly then running up to me and continued sobbing.

Natsu shot up from his sulking position and cocked an eyebrow as my eyes widened.

"Why? Where're you going?" He asked.

"Um... to the... to-to Galuna Island!" I yelled at the tip of my lungs.

"Cool, can we come?" Natsu said with the others nodding in agreement.

"I-"

"Knock knock." My head turned to the door and there I saw Juvia and an unknown black haired man carrying a rather large basket of... something.

"Juvia!" I said, attempting to run up to hug her.

"Lucy, this thing is really heavy. Please move aside a bit." She choked out.

"Oh sure, what is it?" I asked.

"Some stuff." She said after putting down the basket.

"Juvia!" I said, running up to hug her again, to which she gladly accepted.

"Unknown man!" I said, hugging the said man making him chuckle.

"Geez, Luthy, it's only been ten years." Unknown Man said.

Luthy... Luthy... Luthy...

Only one asshole calls me that and I haven't seen him since I was six at my father's thirty-second birthday.

"Gway! Is that you?" I said, shaking his shoulders.

"Yes, yes, now let me go or else I'm going to puke." He said between laughs.

"Luce, how do you know this bastard?" I heard Natsu say.

"This guy was supposed to be my fiancé but then he decided to run off to Magnolia." I said brightly with a grin on my face.

"What?!" Everybody but Natsu and Gray exclaimed.

"Yeah, you're still taking us to Galuna Island- Wait, what?!" Natsu said, taking in the news slower than everyone as usual.

And then there's Berto. My once so beautiful Berto with beautiful brown with beautiful customized auburn hair, staring at us with a smile and that pink abomination on her hair.

Sigh.

Michelle went on all fours and started to mess with Berto's features before I could even react.

Berrttooooo!

T_T

I raced towards my laptop, ignoring my friends' gazes. Berto is more important.  
Maybe I can still save her *_*.

...

Why world? Why? What the fuck did I ever do to you (except for littering that one time at the park but you can't blame me for that because it was the government fault for not putting enough trash cans)? First, cancer, next, I have to bring my friends to Galuna, next, making me forget to go get Paul at Natsu's house (damn it), next, Berto, my once so beautiful Berto, is now a flat nosed, square-shaped, red haired, fatty!

Why?

* * *

**Hey, guys. Sorry if it's too short, and sorry for the quite late update, and any possible typographical errors because I didn't have the time to double check it**.

**Oh yeah, I made Natsu a smoker because that was all I could think of that was close to being a pyro so if you have a problem with that, don't worry because something will be done about it. I respect your opinions and I'm open to suggestions. **

**And also, if your wondering about Lucy's supposed to be party, don't worry. Everything will be explained in the next chapter.**

**Here are some questions to ponder:**

**1. Will Natsu ever find out about Lucy's sickness?**

**2. What the hell is going on?**

**3. Where's Mark now and what the hell is his purpose in this senseless story?**

**4. Who is Gray (the handsome-mest, sexiest, beautiful-est man) in Lucy's life?**

**5. How many Movie, Fairy Tale, and Serendipity Clichés have you seen so far?**

**6. Why did the author put questions to ponder now but not in the previous chapters?**

**That is all. Boboi**!

**-Ann**


	8. The Good, the Bad, and the Plue

**The Three Clichés: White Chocolate Latté**

**Summary:** Unrequited love, forbbiden fruit, misunderstandings, betrayal, cheesy pick-up lines, kisses in the rain, and rejection. Those are some of the very many elements of clichés. Mix them all together and you've got yourself a warm, steaming cup of white chocolate latté.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Fairy Tail. You know who does. I know you do. Don't you even try to deny it. I can see you...

* * *

**Chapter 7: The Good, the Bad, and the Plue**

"So let me get this straight. Gray used to be Lucy's childhood boyfriend and was supposed to be her fiancé because of a business arangement but Gray's family moved to Magnolia where he met Lisanna, Levy and I then came back years later with Natsu to finish schooling here. Natsu is Gray's best friend who is also attracted to Lucy, to which Lucy is unresponsive of, and Juvia is attracted to Gray and Gray is attracted to Juvia, and Natsu is on neutral terms with Juvia. Am I right?" Erza said thoughtfully.

"Yep." I replied, popping the 'p'.

"Pretty much except he isn't my best friend." Natsu agreed, nodding his head in Gray's direction.

I turned to where Gray and Juvia were and saw that they were both looking down on their feet, faces red as cherries.

Do I sense a new couple? I think so~

"You two got somethin' goin' on?" I asked.

They both shook their heads feverently with their faces still red as a new born baby's ass.

I cocked an eyebrow but decided to let it slide. For now.

Michelle was on my bed sleeping soundly. And by soundly, I mean loudly.

"So what's the real reason you came here?" I asked them, ignoring Michelle's snores.

"Well, we were worried about you." Juvia answered, looking up.

"Right. You expect me to believe that?"

"...Fine, we wanted to give you a 'welcome home' present." She admitted.

Gray ushered me towards the heavy basket they were carrying a while ago. The top was covered with a blue blanket and it smelled like strawberries and sugar.

"Mmm... is it a strawberry cake?" I asked.

"No." Levy replied.

"Is it a cupcake?"

"No." Erza answered.

"Is it... a lemon cake?"

"For crying out loud, it's not cake!" Natsu shouted.

"Okay, okay, just chill out, Mr. Grumpy Pants. What is it?"

"It's..." Juvia said, gripping the blanket.

I excitedly walked up to the basket and saw a white sleeping puppy curled up to a ball.

"Aww! I'm gonna name 'im Plue! ...What is he?" I exclaimed.

"He's a dog, obviously, cross between an Irish Terrier and a... unicorn." Levy explained.

"A unicorn?" I asked.

"Yeah, well, you see his nose? It's kind of cone shaped, a crossbreed between a dog and a mythical creature."

"Oh yeah. It does kind of look like an ice cream cone or something."

Here, let me give you a visualization of what Plue looks like:

(^ v)/

Shut up. It isn't a bird. It's a dog and I am fucking Michael Angelo when I make visual pictures with symbols.

...

Fine, try to think that 'v' is the ear, it helps.

"Why does he smell like cake?" I asked, suddenly craving cake. I mean, I've been craving it for a while now but this was just the opportunity to say it.

I want cake and I want it now.

Mmm, cake.

I was already half-drooling when Plue opened his (her?) eyes open and proceeded to lick my face.

"He was the baker's old dog's puppy. He's three months old." Gajeel replied.

I giggled as Plue licked the bottom of my neck. I guess it's a he.

"Hey! I'm the only one who's allowed to touch you there!" Natsu yelled with a glare.

I rolled my eyes and continued to play with Plue.

"Pu-lu-we, Plue, Plu, Plu, Plue, Plue-chan!" I sang.

"God, make it stop!" Gajeel screeched.

"As if you can talk, Mr. Shoo-Bee-Doo-Bop." Levy said, smacking the back of his head.

"Ow!" Gajeel yelled, placing a hand to where Levy smacked.

Levy argued with Gajeel about something about a ferris wheel and... a camel's balls then picked up an umbrella and started smacking him with it.

I ignored the lion and the lamb, Levy being the lion, and played with Plue.

"Hey, Lucy, are we still going to have our yearly mmhmm?" Juvia asked, purposely mumbling the last word.

"I'm not sure. Me and Jake will see if we can get Valerie and Lily out of the house this weekend." I replied, grabbing Plue's tiny paws and making him walk on two feet on my lap as I sat down on my swirly chair.

"What's the mmhmm?" Natsu asked.

"You'll find out soon enough." Gajeel replied, grimancing as he remembered what we did to him last year.

That was a mighty fine year.

I remember the water balloons, the fake strippers, oh, and that time when we woke up at a gay bar with male hookers staring at us. That was fun.

Jellal and Erza sat quietly next to each other, Erza with a tomato-red face and Jellal a slightly lighter shade, hands nearing each other, fingers touching.

Ohohoho~

I turned my chair to them while holding Plue on my lap. I feel so menacing.

"You're dating, yes?" I asked.

They immediately jerked out of each other's reach as if their finger tips were burning. With faces so red and hot, I let out a low chuckle.

"How sweet." I said, chirping up. "Now, go into the closet and give me a million mini Jellals and Erzas."

I made them stand up and pushed them in my closet.

Plue started barking arnd running around while chasing his tail.

Plue.

Puel.

Paul.

I miss Paul.

"Natsu, go home and bring me Paul." I whined.

"Get him yourself, fatass." He replied, now lying on the floor with Gajeel, Juvia, and Gray sitting on my carpet next to him.

"What did you say?" I asked angrily.

"Get. Him. Yourself. Fatass!" He yelled, sitting up.

Oh, no he didn't!

* * *

"For the last time, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed.

Natsu nursed his bleeding nose with pieces of cotton Juvia gave him.

Dé javu much?

"Ow!" He exclaimed as Erza smacked the back of his head.

When the hell did she get out of my closet?

"Listen to her, she's apologizing." Erza threatened.

"I furffibd you..." Natsu muttered.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you." I mocked.

"I forgive you." He said angrily.

"Aww, thanks, Natsu-koi." I said, remembering that special moment when I found out I had a 'boyfriend'.

Sigh, that was the worst day of my life.

"Stop calling me that, people might hear." He said, clenching his free hand into a fist.

"You were the one who started it, Natsu..." I paused. "...koi."

"You're dating?" Erza asked.

I shook my head in response with a smile on my face.

"Damn it! Shut up!" He yelled.

"You shut up!" Erza yelled, smacking the back of his head.

"Yeah, shut up!" I yelled at Natsu.

Erza must have misinterpreted it to me saying it to her because...

"Shut up!" Erza yelled, glaring at me.

"Shut up!" Natsu yelled at Erza.

"Shut up!" I yelled at Natsu.

"Shut up!" Erza yelled at me.

"Shut up!" Natsu yelled at me.

"Shut up!" I yelled at the both of them while covering both their mouths with my hands.

Erza bit my hand.

God damn it.

I forgot who I was dealing with.

"Ow!" I yelled, jerking my hand back.

Erza glared daggers at me.

**(A/N: Please read my P.P.P.P.S. on the author's note below. I'm saying this now in the middle of the chapter because I know some of you skip the main author's note.)**

Natsu bit my hand, too.

"Ow!" I yelled, jerking my other hand back.

"What are you people? Dogs?!" I yelled.

Both my hands were close to bleeding, especially the one Natsu bit. I waved them around frantically, hoping the pain might go away.

"I'm in pain! Someone call an ambulance or something." I dramatacised.

"Stop overreacting, you weirdo." Natsu said.

"You wanna broken head to go with your broken nose?" I threatened with a glare.

Natsu shrugged and put his hands up as if surrendering.

"Let's play spin the bottle." I suggested, the pain from my palms subsiding.

"But that's a party game." Erza questioned.

"It's better than nothing. C'mon, everyone form a circle." I gathered.

Natsu sat on my right and Gajeel sat next to him and then Juvia and then Gray and then Levy and then Jellal then Erza on my left.

I picked up an empty bottle of coke from under my bed and put it in the middle of our circle.

"Who goes first?" I asked.

Gray raised his hand and spun the bottle. It landed on Erza. They both shrigged and pecked each other on the lips.

"Okay, Erza, you go."

Erza spun the bottle and then it landed on Jellal. Erza turned as red as her last name then shakingly turned to an equally red Jellal. They neared each other slowly before I couldn't take it anymore and just smacked each other's head forward.

"There. Now, Jellal, you go." Jellal and Erza didn't break away from each so I just led them to the closet I locked them in earlier.

"I'll go." I volunteered.

I spun the bottle. It spun and spun and spun and Natsu looked enthusiastic and excited. It landed on Juvia.

Oh, what the hell.

I crawled up to Juvia and pecked on her lips. Natsu looked disappointed and his excited and enthusiastic demeanor went away. Though his nose did start bleeding again...

"Juvia, you go." I said, going back to my place.

Juvia nodded and spun the bottle and then it landed on Gajeel. She turned her head and pecked him on the lips.

Gajeel was her best friend. Even before she moved to Hargeon. They were childhood friends. To them, being together was incest so a kiss really means nothing to them.

"Next." Juvia said casually.

Gajeel spun the bottle then it landed on Gray.

...

Oh my fucking God! It landed on Gray! Both men looked too shocked to move.

I started laughing loudly and so did Natsu, Juvia, and Levy.

Then I realized, where was Lisanna?

"Hey, guys, where's Lisanna?" I asked between giggles.

"Ch-Cheerleading-Cheerleading practice. Pffft." Levy replied befor bursting into a fit of laughter.

"C'mon, Princess! Kiss the dragon!" Natsu yelled at Gray, laughing his ass off.

Gajeel and Gray looked mortified but that was the rule so they closed their eyes and inched their faces together. We took out our phones and prepared for the incoming kiss.

"I just heard Mum's car in the driveway. You have to go. Now." Jake said, entering my room and pushing the guys through the other exit in my room.

Damn it.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. Fifteen bedrooms in this place, Lily made me move to the maid's quarters.

Bitch, right?

Anyway, the guys scurried out of there while me and Jake ran around my room cleaning up.

And then there was Plue.

Shit.

I grabbed him and put him in his basket, covered him with his blanket, then put him in the closet. I made Erza and Jellal run out of my closet and out to the back exit. I peeked inside for just half a second and saw that all my used to be hanged clothes were on the floor and my stepping stool was broken. What the hell did Erza and Jellal do here?

"Lucy-chan~" I heard Lily call.

"Just a second!" I replied, closing my closet door.

"Where's Jake, dear?" She asked from the living room. I know because... I just do.

"He's..." Jake shook his head feverently then put a finger up to his lips. "...out."

"Oh, where did he go?" She asked.

"To... um..."

Jake mouthed, 'Didn't say anything.'

Or was it, 'Titid they anitit.'

What is up with people and mouthing words this past few days? Don't they know I'm practically lower than Flo-rida in these types of situations?

"He didn't say anything." I said loudly.

"You should really know these things, Lucy-chan, aren't you ever concerned of your brother's well-being?"

"Sorry, Lily, I really don't know." I ran around the room, picking up some clothes and trash on the floor. I ran past Valerie's skirt that she'd been asking for for the past few weeks before I was sent to the hospital. "Oh, where's Valerie? I have the thing she's been asking for for a while now."

"How should I know, Lucy-chan? I'm not my daughter's nanny. You can be so stupid sometimes." She said, following with a laugh.

"Okaaay." I said to myself.

Jake snickered at my response and sat down on my swirly chair. He started spinning around and around... I wanna do that.

I dropped the stuff I was holding and walked up to him with my arms streched out towards his arm.

"Get off! I wanna turn." I whined.

"No." He said, shrugging my hand off his arm then laughing hysterically like a cayote that drank too much coffee.

Richard.

Oh yeah. I decided to make Richard my newest expression for assholes because the usual nickname for 'Richard' is 'Dick' (© Ryan Higa). So yeah...

Jake, you God damned Richard.

* * *

"Lu, why're you smiling?" I heard a familiar voice say.

"Nothing. I'm just close to the part when we did our yearly mmhmm." I replied with a smile as I looked up from my computer.

He neared me and placed his chin on my shoulder, gently kissing my cheek.

"Yeah, I remember. You guys threw water balloons at me that year." He replied.

"Oh, sweetie, we did that to Gajeel the year before. We threw toilet water at you." I giggled.

His eyes widened and he jumped up from his position.

"What?! Tell me you're kidding!" He exclaimed.

"I wish I was. Remember what happened next?" I asked, blushing slightly.

"Oh, yeah..." He said, smirking evilly. "You took-" I placed my hand over his mouth.

"Don't even. I had to take four showers because of it."

"Well, I think we know who's fault that is." He said with a smirk.

I gulped as he picked me up and threw me on the bed, kissing me roughly, and taking his shirt off.

Let's just say, I'm getting some tonight.

* * *

**Heyo, it's me again with an incredibly long (sarcasm) chapter! Mehehe :). Don't worry though because I plan on making an incredibly long one as a Christmas special. Pwomise 0:).**

**Who is the mystery guy? Hope you guys didn't forget Lucy was** n**arrating. Maybe it's Gray, maybe it's Mark, maybe it's Jake, maybe it's Natsu, who knows. I might change my mind. You never know. BTW, to keep the suspense, Mystery Guy will be refered to as 'He' until the time comes to reveal him (which is when you guys find out what the yearly mmhmm is. Damn, I ain't good with surprises).**

**P.S. My English teacher has a strange grudge towards me. Always contradicts what I say, even when I'm right, tsk. Even my classmates notice. It's like she's always on her menopause and takes out her God damned feelings on me. Didn't even do anything to her. She's Ms. Monsterson. But she's not divorced. And her son is as dumb as a donkey on weed (no offence to all asses). Yep, most OCs here are based on people I know in real life like how Jake is loosely based on Alex Pettyfer (or the idea of him and his hot British-ness. Or his past self. Personally, I think he was hotter when he was in Wild Child) and Marvin is my friend Jerico who's middle name is Marvin (Marvin only mentioned once but still). The only reason I call him Marvin is just to piss him off but it isn't working :/. Lily is my uncle's girlfriend (not her real name) and Valerie is my classmate (not her real name either). Mark is... the guy I almost had 'something' with but ended up not because he's a shallow, narrow-minded piece of shit (not his real name). I might just end up killing Mark =_=. But where's the fun in that, right? Right. And no, I am not Lucy. Well, I am but she isn't exactly based on me but her (somewhat) rude and outspoken attitude comes from me. So when you see someone being rude to strangers or to you and is Asian (the 'Ching-chong-chang-ching' type. But I speak minimal Chinese. I, as you know, speak English quite fluently), that's probably me. Hi, how are you?**

**P.P.S. I just realized the P.S. was longer than the author's note itself.**

**P.P.P.S. Just wanted to thank all of you for reviewing, favorite-ing, following, or just reading! I appreciate your continous support. Just know that writing this story helps me escape the horrible tragedy that is reality. Thank you [ ^ _ ^ ]!**

**P.P.P.P.S. (IMPORTANT! MUST READ!) In about April, May, or sometime next year, this story will probably will be put on hold for a while. Most likely three or four weeks. It's because I'm moving to the states. Yay! See you soon, California! Anyway, that's all I swear.**

**P.P.P.P.P.S. Oh, and one last thing, hahaha, I fucking hate okra. Merry Christmas! And don't forget to review! That can be your early Christmas gift to me. And I'm not asking for reviews for popularity if that's what your thinking. I'm just really curious to what you want to say or have to say and, like I said before, I'm open to all comments, suggestions, and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Tell me my errors and how I can fix it. I write this story so that I can bring a little bit of cheesiness to your lives.**

**That is all. Love you guys!**

**-Ann**


	9. The Impossible Challenge (Filler Alert!)

**The Three Clichés: White Chocolate Latté**

**Summary:** Unrequited love, forbbiden fruit, misunderstandings, betrayal, cheesy pick-up lines, kisses in the rain, and rejection. Those are some of the very many elements of clichés. Mix them all together and you've got yourself a warm, steaming cup of white chocolate latté.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fairy Tail. You know who does. I know you do. Don't you even try to deny it. I can see you...

* * *

**Chapter This-is-Totally-a-Filler-Chapter: The Impossible Challenge**

I was eating strawberry cake with Plue running around. We were at the café I first met Natsu.

I was happily munching on a strawberry when Plue started barking loudly. Then, the café turned into a dark place and the strawberry I was eating turned into... nothing. Where is my strawberry?! I need my god damned strawberry!

Plue disappeared but his barks were still there. Then red... red all over. Everything was red. Mama... she was there... she was smiling. But then she frowned then screamed at me.

I opened my eyes in cold sweat. I ran to the bathroom and puked in the toilet. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see blood. I was puking blood and was having a nosebleed.

Damned cancer.

I spat some excess blood, gargled, then wiped my nose with a clean tissue and walked back to my room.

4:28 AM

It's too early to do anything but I don't really want to go back to sleep. Plue was sleeping soundly on his basket at the side of my bed.

Stupid cancer. Mama... she suffered for two years because of this. At this rate, I don't think I can handle two days of this.

Sometimes, when I was a little kid before Mama found out about her cancer, I'd crawl into Mama and Papa's bed in the middle of the night. They'd pretend to be asleep even though they weren't. I squeeze between them with my favorite doll, Michelle, then kiss them goodnight.

I hardly even noticed that my vision was getting blurry and clouded. I wiped my tears away with a tissue I was holding.

...

Ew. That was the tissue I wiped with my nose.

I tossed the tissue aside. Then sat up so that I wouldn't drown on my blood. That's right. I know medical stuff.

Anyway, my thoughts trained back to the Fullbuster family. Ur, Ultear, Lyon, I wonder how're they doing. I heard Ultear had a daughter. I bet she's almost just as annoying as her uncle. Hahaha.

I remember in Freshman year, I was so nervous. Lily made me transfer to a public school so I was really afraid but then Jake... he patted my head, grabbed my hand then brought me inside.

In Sophomore year, I met Mark when I bumped into him at the cafeteria. He was a Senior that time. He took me out on dates and I had a great time. We began dating. And it was fun. But later that year, I caught him cheating on me with Sarah Yogar, the school nerd (and her last name sounds delicious).

Sigh.

Sarah was in five of my classes, all of which she topped. She was nice enough, I guess...

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, BITCH!"

In shock, I fell off my bed.

"What the fuck, Valerie?!" I exclaimed.

"It's Christmas! Get up, get up, get up." She said, shaking me back and forth.

"Let go of me before I tell your mom you're sleeping with your history teacher." I threatened with a glare.

"Aw, c'mon, don't be like that. Mr. Jones is only 23 and I'm eighteen so really, it's legal."

"But does your mom think the same way?"

"Mm... probably not. Now, get up, get up, get up."

"Tsk. Fine," I said, sitting up. "What the hell do you want me to do at," I glanced at the clock. "5:21 in the morning?"

"Well, your friend called me yesterday. He said to dress you up because you're going somewhere. And since I don't want you to go out wearing the abomination you call clothes because I'm the greatest sister ever, I'm going to help you." She said, pushing me into the bathroom.

"Can you at least tell me why you're wearing a Santa Claus outfit?"

"I just felt like it. Now hurry!"

I went in and took my clothes off then hopped in the shower.

Something is off with this bitch. Normally, she'd brush me off or ignore me. Weir-do.

I finished my shower, wrapped myself with a towel then stepped out of the bathroom.

I could still hear Plue's tiny puppy snores from the corner of my room. Then it hit me, why isn't Valerie reacting to my dog?

"Hey, Val?" I said warily while nearing Plue.

"Yeah?" She answered, throwing clothes from my closet all around my room.

"Do... you... notice anything?" I asked.

"Not really... hey, this is cute. Put it on." She said.

She shoved a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans, and a white crop top with a thick brown fur coat at me.

"Um..."

"Well? What the hell are you waiting for? Put it on!" She exclaimed.

"I'm gonna do it in front of... you?"

"Ugh, fine." She crossed her arms then stormed outside.

I rolled my eyes. I dressed in my undergarments then put the shirt and jeans on then the coat.

I wonder why I'm being so agreeable. For all I know, Valerie could be planning to kidnap me and take me to a deserted island.

Hm, I look pretty nice.

...

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? Am I seriously going to dress up for a paricular 'friend' that I'm not even sure who? Like WHAT THE HELL, LUCY?

"Are you done yet?" Valerie asked impatiently from the other side of the door.

"I am taking this shit off! I'm not going anywhere!" I exclaimed, taking my coat off.

Valerie burst through the door almost instantly. She had a venomous glare stiched on her face and duct tape between her stick-like fingers.

Son of a bitch.

* * *

"MMM, M MM MMMMM!" I yelled through the duct tape covering my mouth.

"Shut up!" Valerie screamed for the one millionth time.

"Mmm..." I said, giving up.

One of her friends, Elfman I think, was carrying me over his shoulder like a potato sack. He had HUGE muscles and wasn't even wearing a shirt when it's 10° outside. Me? I was freezing my ass off.

Elfguy stopped when Valerie told him to drop me. And he did. On the cold, hard, snowy ground.

"Mmm!" I exclaimed.

Valerie stomped towards me then ripped the duct tape of my face.

"Fucking shit!"

"Oh get over it!"

"I will not."

"Oh, you will, pussy!"

"No I won't, you manipulative bitch!"

"Yeah? Well, you suck!"

"You suck!"

"You suck!"

"Shut up!"

"Fine!"

We both huffed then crossed our arms in unison.

"Ehrm..." Elfman sweatdropped.

"Lucy!" I heard a familiar voice call.

"What?!" I snapped.

"Woah, PMS much?" Natsu asked with a smirk.

"Shut up, dickface."

Natsu smirked then handed Valerie and Elfman twenty dollars each.

"This is it?" Valerie complained. "I fucking woke up at four in the morning and all I get is a cheap manicure?"

Natsu rolled his eyes then dug out a fifty from his pocket.

"Happy?"

"Whatever. Let's go, Elf-ma'-man." Valerie commanded.

Elfman nodded his head then followed Valerie. Hm... I wonder where Valerie meets these people.

"So..." Natsu started.

"Are you the 'friend' who wanted to make me take a shower at 5:21 in the morning?" I asked with a glared etched on my face.

"Well... um... yeah. But it'll be worth it I swear. C'mon, follow me." He motioned.

"No, I'm going home." I screeched between grit teeth.

"Well, good luck finding your way. We're in the outskirts of the city and according to your sister, you've never been here before." Natsu said in an as-a-matter-of-fact-ly tone.

"Step. Stepsister." I huffed while walking to his direction, finally giving up.

"Good girl."

"Shut the fuck up before I cut you." I threatened.

Yeah, Gangsta' Lucy ain't no bowin' to nobody. (Even when she already did.)

"Not in the mood, huh?"

I glared in response.

"Okay..." Natsu surrendered with his hands in the air.

"Here."

I felt a warm, soft fabric be wrapped around my neck to my nose. It stunk of unlit cigarettes and men's perfume sold in the department store near Blueberry Avenue.

...

Yep, I live in a weird place.

"God, how often do you smoke?" I asked, slightly disgusted.

"Like I said, when I'm stressed."

"Then how often are you stressed?!"

"Enough times."

I rolled my arms and ignored him. To be honest, the stench of his scarf wasn't all that bad. It was masculine. I find it kind of... sexy.

"What? No 'thank you'? How ungrateful of you, Ms. Heartfilia." Natsu said in a posh tone.

I glared daggers at him.

"I don't need your fucking scarf!" I yelled, struggling to take the scarf off because it had been knotted around me several times.

Natsu grabbed my arms then lifted me up.

"Just shut up."

Then he dropped me.

I pouted but let go of the scarf anyway. Stupid Natsu for being so stupidly sweet and boyfriend-like even when I clearly am not his girlfriend.

Stupid.

"C'mon." He said, yanking me away.

* * *

Next thing I knew, I was on a train with a warm cup of hot chocolate between my hands and a green-faced, pink-haired weirdo laying on my lap.

"I just don't understand how you can drive without getting sick but when you get on something else, you get sick."

"Ju-Just leave m-me alone." Natsu replied.

I sighed then rubbed his head.

"Where are we going, Natsu?" I asked.

"I-It's a surp-p-prise." He answered before vomiting on the floor next to my shoes.

"Attention, passengers. We shall be arriving to our headed destination in approximately fifteen minutes. Please secure your belongings and personal items. Thank you." The tiny speaker in our cabin called.

"Well, I guess we're getting there." I said.

"Uuuuuuggghhh..." Natsu replied.

Oh, Lord.

* * *

"Yes! It feels so good to be on land again!"

I trailed after Natsu and his childish exclamations with my arms crossed. It was definitely colder here.

"Natsu, wait for me, you idiot!" I yelled.

"C'mon, Lucy, keep up!"

"Get back here or I'm going home!"

"...Sheesh, you're so uptight, Luce." Natsu said, coming back for me.

"How can I loosen up when I don't know where I am and I'm freezing?!" I exclaimed.

"Geez, if you're cold, you could've just told me." Natsu replied. I felt a warm hand pull me close. Instantly, the cold I felt was gone.

"Th-Thanks."

"No problem." Natsu replied with a smile.

Natsu led me to a small plaza with this huge fountain at the center. I wonder how they got it to not freeze.

"Where and why are we here?" I asked.

"We're gonna do the impossible challenge!" He exclaimed, letting go of my shoulders and waving his arms around.

"Where...?"

"We're in Magnolia!"

O.O Magnolia? But... that's like... what was I talking about? Damned cancer making me forgetful.

"Oh. What are we gonna do here?" I asked.

"The impossible challenge!" Natsu exclaimed again.

"What's the impossible challenge?"

"This!" Natsu held up a piece of paper.

It read:

THE IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE

Think you and your partner can do anything? Think again! Do the impossible challenge and win up to 30,000J!

Mechanics: On this paper is ten things you and your partner must do before 12 o'clock midnight in December 24, Christmas. A judge will be following you secretly throughout the challenge. Whichever pair will be the most amusing to watch will win the cash prize! Good luck players!

1) Go to Magnolia City Plaza

2) Find the missing wig-I mean, toupée of our manager, Kyoko-san!

3) Return the wi-toupée to our office in the next block over

4) Go to Dina's Diner and get part-time jobs as waiters/waitresses there

5)'Accidentally' pour juice on the scariest customer

6) Run, run like hell

7) Go to Park Pet Store then buy a fish

8) Fall in love with the fish

9) Feed the fish to our cat named Henry

10) Do something unexpected

Note: Management will not be held responsible for any injuries, accidents and/or unfaithful death.

* * *

"Natsu, we've been looking for over an hour! I'm tired!" I complained, while sitting down on the edge of the fountain.

"Stop being such a wuss, Luce." Natsu chastised.

"I'm not being a wuss!" I retorted.

"Oh yeah? Well, why don't you jump in the fountain to prove your un-wuss-iness?!" Natsu screamed.

"Of all things why jump in the fountain? That's illegal!"

"Fine then, wuss."

At this point, I was practically boiling with anger, so in the spur of the moment, I jumped in the fountain. I felt something furry on my feet then jerked away immediately. Ew, is it a rat or something?

"Natsu, get me out of here! I'm freezing and I felt something under the water!"

"Stop being a wuss, Luce!" He reprimanded.

"Call me a fucking wuss one more time and I will make sure that you're going to end up a** puss** by the end of this day, got it?" I yelled, to which Natsu nodded fervently. "Now get me out of this goddamned fountain or I will skin you alive, you little bitch!"

Natsu quickly held out a hand to me. I grabbed his hand then pulled him in the fountain, quickly getting out while doing so.

"That was low." Natsu growled.

"Oh c'mon, don't be such a wuss." I mocked, hugging myself because dmn, it was cold.

"When I get out o-Hey, I found the wig!" Natsu exclaimed, taking ou this hair... thing from under water.

"Great, let's go."

So, the two of us went to the organization's main office then gave the wig back. They congratulated us then gave us a new set of clothes to wear.

"Um, Mr. Kyoko, Do you have anything else to wear?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, dear, but we ran out. The other contestants took them all. But don't worry, It's very warm and you look very pretty in it. Here, let me do your hair for you." Mr. Kyoko said, sitting me down on a chair then tied my hair in several curls and twists.

Mr. Kyoko was a really nice man. He was short and chubby but very cute. He's like a potato. And, he's gay so no worrying about sexual harassment. Awesome, right?

Mr. Kyoko finished tying my hair in a half-moon sort of thing.

You're probably wondering what I'm wearing, huh? Well, you see, I'm uh, wearing a brown leather peasant costume.

"You look absolutely gorgeous, darling! I bet your boyfriend is so happy to have someone as beautiful as you to be his girlfriend!"Mr. Kyoko enthused.

"Oh no, he's not my-"

"Yes, he's very happy."

I turned around to see Natsu wearing normal clothing; a black hoodie, some jeans, and black sneakers.

"Hey, that's not fair! Why is he in normal clothes?!"

"Hm? I don't know. The last time I checked we only had a prince outfit left." Mr. Kyoko wondered.

"I did some... negotiating. Let's go, Luce! Thsatnks, Baldy! See ya'" Natsu said, before running out of the office, dragging me around.

I swear to god I saw a knocked out employee wear a prince outfit.

"Next up, Dina's Diner. Let's go."

* * *

"First a peasant, now a stupid maid outfit? What the hell?"

"C'mojn, Luce, don't be a wu-be-be-be a girl?"

I rolled my eyes at Natsu then pointed at a huge bald guy wearing a biker outfit.

"Go pour this on him." I commanded, handing him a glass of orange juice.

"No! Why do I have to do it?"

...

"Fine." He said, snatching the glass out of my hand.

I watched amused on the counter as Natsu shakily neared the man.

"O-Oops." He said, terrified as he spilled a splash on scary biker man.

Natsu didn't even had time to run because scary biker guy punched him in the face. Hard. He was out cold. Great, I'm going to have to carry him around while we run like hell, huh.

I let out an exasperated sigh then raced towards Natsu, faking concern.

"Oh my, baby, are you okay?" I said in my annoying-girlfriend voice. "I'm so sorry for the trouble my boyfriend caused, mister. I'll treat you to your meal as compensation. Here," I said, handing him 2000J.

"It's fine. Oh my, are you Fifi Princess?! I'm your biggest fan! Guys, look, it's Fifi Princess! I'm sorry for punching your boyfriend, Ms. Princess. Can I have your autograph?!" Scary bald guy asked.

A crowd of scary bald men surrounded me almost immediately. I signed autographs to them one by one and when I finished, it was already thirty minutes past noon.

I grabbed Natsu's arm then ran out to Park Pet Store immediately. Natsu was still unconscious so no choice. Thank God I took those weight-lifting classes four years ago cause this guy weighs a ton.

"Excuse me, I'd like to buy a fish." I asked the clerk.

"And whaqt fish would you like, Miss?"the ear

"The cheapest one you've got." I said after looking at my almost empty purse.

"Alright, that'll be 1500J."

"What the fuck? 1500J for a fish?" **(A/N: 100J = USD 1.00)**

"It's the cheapest one we have."

I turned to Natsu then started to shake him violently.

"Natsu, wake the fuck up and give me 1500J."

"Auurgh... augh..."

I grabbed a fistful of Natsu's hair then angrily drowned him in the nearest aquarium.

"Woah!" Natsu stumbled.

"1500J." I said with a glare while holding the palm of my hand out.

"Huh?"

"1500J!" I took his wallet then paid the wide-eyed clerk.

I gave the wallet back then dragged him outside by the ear while holding the fish.

* * *

This impossible challenge is making me impossibly angry. I mean, how the hell was I going to fall in love with a fucking fish?

"Let's name 'im Natsu Jr.!" Natsu exclaimed.

I stared skeptically at the fish. I guess it was... okay.

"What makes you think it's a boy? Let's name her Lucille." I said.

"Natsu Jr.!"

"Lucille!"

"Natsu Jr.!"

"Lucille!"

"Natsu Lucille Jr.?"

"Ew! No!"

"Alex?"

"Fine."

So Alex, Natsu and I went back to the office where Henry, Mr. Kyoko, and the other employees were waiting.

So, yeah, we sorta' kinda' cheated on number eight and nine because we really didn't love Alex but we pretended we did when Henry ate her. Natsu bawled while I cried. Thank God for acting classes. Yeah I take a lot of classes.

Now, we were down to number 10.

What the hell are we going to do?

"What the hell are we going to do?" I whined.

"Let's do **that**."

"But we haven't perfected it yet." **(A/N: At this point, I had my lunch break so sorry if it's a little unorthodox.)  
**

"C'mon, think about it."

If we do **that** then they'd be surprised and expect us to perfect it but we'll surely fail so in the end, it will be a sure pack of unexpected events thus making us the deserving winner of the 30,000J.

"Fine, let's do it."

**(WATCH: www . youtube watch? v = ytPjH7ikQZU without the spaces.)**

"Huff... huff..."

Did I forget to mention how we were back in the plaza?

"Good-huff-job, Luce." Natsu muttered before tumbling down, making me tumble down with him too.

"Hahahaha! You two are great! You win! You win! Hahaha!" Mr. Kyoko exclaimed from behind a lamp.

"That's... great..." I huffed.

* * *

"Congratulations, Lucy and Natsu! Here is your prize. Enjoy!"

We were allowed to change to our original clothes. It seemed they dried and warmed them up for us. We went out of the office and stood outside the front doors. Orange tinted the sky because it was already 5 in the evening. what would you expect?

"Phew. Now, that that's done and gotten over with, I'll see you later, Luce!" Natsu called, distancing from myself as he ran to the opposite direction..

I angrily threw my shoe at him.

"It's fucking Christmas Eve and I'm in a different city and you're gonna leave me alone?! I don't think so, bastard!"

"Ow! Fine, I'll take you with me."

Natsu came back for me and gave me my shoe. We walked a long way. A long, loooong way. We passed the plaza, some stores, a mall, a subdivision, then we finally arrived to an old house. It was actually quite beautiful if you cleaned it up a bit. It wasn't too big nor was it too small. It was just right. Great, now I sound like a blond-haired, dumb, bear-house trespasser.

Natsu stood in front of the house with a nostalgic look on his face. He opened the gate then ushered me inside. This must be his house from when he still used to live here.

I kept quiet as Natsu walked in the house. I followed shortly.

His house... wow.

I was expecting a clean and tidy living room with a couch and chairs pointing to a TV. But no, it actually looked like a pigsty with clothes and rotten food littered everywhere. So much for a dramatic scene =_=.

Natsu disappeared somewhere, leaving me wandering around the house. By the TV, a picture of a mother and a child was placed. The kid, Natsu, had a bright smile on his face while his mum smiled softly at the camera while hugging him close.

The picture next to that was of Natsu, Lisanna, Mira, and another white-haired guy that strangely resembled Elfguy. They were covered in mud and laughing. Lisanna had a twig in her hair and Mira had mud smeared all over her white dress. Elfguy-look-a-like was smiling shyly while sitting on the mud puddle.

The one next to that was a class picture with Erza, Levy, Mira, Lisanna, a blonde (boy) kid, a blue-haired kid, and Natsu stood with Natsu's mum on the corner, wearing a white apron and a gentle smile on her face.

Natsu and his mum were really close, huh?

"Hey, Luce, let's go." Natsu said from behind.

"Yeah, okay."

I followed Natsu outside but before I did, a picture. A picture of a red-haired man, Natsu, and his mum. It was there beneath a pile of clothes. You could've missed it if you didn't look hard enough. That was his dad. That was Natsu's dad.

SLAM.

"What the fuck?!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry, it's the only way to close the door." Natsu explained, locking it with a key.

"Let's go."

I didn't notice that Natsu was holding something that was wrapped with a clean, white blanket.

"What's that?" I asked.

Natsu put a finger up to his smiling lips and made a 'Shh...' sound.

We walked again, though this time it wasn't so far. We stopped when we reached a cliff. A grave with a statue of an angel stood on the edge. It was beautiful. You could hear the crashing of the waves below and the sky was just beginning to turn dark. Stars were already showing and the moon was a perfect 360° angle.

Natsu cleared out some snow in front of the grave then unwrapped the white blanket and took out a picnic basket. He laid out the blanket on the ground then sat on it, placing the basket next to him.

"Care to join me, m'lady?"

"Of course, m'lord."

With a smile I sat next to him. Natsu took out a tupperware of dango.

"Why did you pack dango? Don't we eat those on New Year's?" I asked taking one.

"Dango was Mom's favorite food. She'd make some in the middle of July if she wanted to." Natsu enthused.

"She must've been lovely." I said, taking a bite of dango.

"Yeah, she would've liked you. And you would've liked her. She was awesome."

I smiled as I took another dango. I started humming the Dango Song from Clannad. Natsu followed soon after.

"Usagi mo sora de to futte miteru. Dekkai o tsuki-sama. Ureshii koto kanashii koto mo. Zenbu marumete." I finished.

"Merry Christmas, Lucy."

"Merry Christmas."

* * *

**Merry Christmas, everybody! Here is the ultra long Christmas Chapter I promised! (Though it's a bit late.) Anyway, I wish you a Merry Shitmas and a Crappy New Year! God knows I ain't havin' a great year. And oh yeah, I wanted to say hello to my fellow Asians out there. Hello, fellow Asians! And hello to my fellow otakus. Hello, fellow otakus! And hello to my fellow humans. Hello, fellow humans! Anyway, I'll see you next week. BOOOOII!**

**-Ann**


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